So far be it from me to go deeply personal on the social networks to end all social networks, but here I am.
Over a month ago, I was fired from my job as a junior kindergarten teacher. While I won't go into details as to why it happened, some aspects of my former employment did not bode well with me anyway, and I see this "kicked to the curb" recent event as a blessing in a fucked up disguise. While I miss the children and staff every day without fail, I know that I must pursue better work in this field.
Sadly, there's like...no open jobs. With a state overrun by Governor Chris Christie (see WalkAway's latest status to understand what kind of person he is), he is trying to overturn everything in the educational system of New Jersey, and with tenure still in effect, every teacher is holding on for dear life in their career.
And I know the following statement is slightly emo, but whatever; this is not fucking fair. I graduated in 2007 with a Master's degree and found no work upon exit. I substitute taught, nabbing only three interviews, being told I had to go back to school to get another degree. 6 years spent in school only to be told to go back? Spend more money, waste more time? No. I wouldn't do it. I wanted to work, dammnit.
I worked at a daycare center for about year following, and then got a job at a Prep School, which removed me recently. I am back subbing again, but frustrated, beyond frustrated. This is ALL I ever wanted to do with my life, WHY can't someone see beyond the paper and give me a shot? Why is it so hard to get a job in a field that...well, not for nothing, is not something that every person in the world is cut out for? There are teachers I've encountered in recent sub jobs that said, and I quote, to their special needs children "I get paid to be here whether you learn or not." WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKING WORKING WITH CHILDREN?
I don't know. This is all bullshit, and it's not right that something that I've worked so hard at is not making room for me where I need to be. I have considered going back to school to earn a degree in Special Ed just so I might have a crack at a job, but even then...
Nothing is for certain.
I am scared.
I feel useless.
I feel pessimistic.
I feel heartbroken.