Vampjezzc posted a BLOG item almost 5 years ago

Breaking Bond: Moonraker




*Number in the series: 11

*Release Year: 1979

*Opening : "Moonraker" - Shirley Bassey, flying naked women

*Bond: Moore

*Location: Space, California, Venice, Rio

*Villain: Sir Hugo Drax - filthy rich, obsessed with space, has own astronaut training camp, plays piano, owns nasty dogs, cryptic even to henchmen, poetic, god-complex

- Evil Plan: Steal moonraker spaceshuttle off an American plane, use nerve gas based on orchid that doesn't harm animals but kills people to destroy all humans from space, create an an ark in space, new super race, shape earth in your image, basically be god, rule from the heavens, use lasers!!

- How he bites it: kurari dart to chest and then airlocked

*Henchman: Jaws - may be one of the dumbest of all henchmen, falls for little blonde pig tail girl, brings her to space, turns on villain, finds his love on the space shuttle and HE SPEAKS! helps to save Bond, floats away in the ark shuttle thingy, survives because he is rescued by American ship ; Chang - tries to kill bond with centrifuge

- What makes him special: Jaws - the teeth; Chang - nothing

- How he bites it: Jaws- survives; Chang - Thrown through clock face

*Bond Girl(s): Holly Goodhead - a doctor, CIA, runs like a girl, easily captured, super power is flirty eyes; Corinne - pilot for Drax, gets eaten by dogs

*Coolest Gadgets: nerve impulse dart gun; xray safe cracker; motor powered gondola with stearing wheel turns into a hoverboat; perfume flame flower; radio purse; laser melty gun; fake man opens as gun; boat with mines/torpedos/hang glider; watch with expolosive coil

*Most Inventive Kills: attempted- death by g force; death by rotweiler; death by piano; attempted - death by space ignition

* Fun/Interesting Scenes: Airplane fight, Bond pushed out - POINT BREAK!!; Jaws tries to fly but lands in a circus tent; centrifuge machine; Gondola knife fight, turns into a hovercraft; Samurai practice fight in glass museum ending on piano; air tram with jaws and escape by chain on metal cord, Jaws falls for blonde brfaid girl; Bond in a poncho looking like Dirty Harry and fighting monks; boat chase with mines/torpedos Jaws over a water fall can he be dead now please?; Bond putang heaven then attacked by giant serpent, anyone else see the irony?; space platoon!!!; Bond as Han; SPACE SEX! I think he is attempting reentry

* Other interesting tidbits:

- Lady lay counter: 3

- What's with all the random animal shots

- Moore is an awful spy, seriously just a dreadful spy

- Seriously how is it that Jaws survives all of that!

- What is with the ridiculous BSG helmets on the space station?

- Apparently all it takes to pretend you are in space is to move vvveeeerrrryyy slllooooowwwllllyyy

- Hmm, so what would making out or even sex be like in zero gravity, just something interesting to think about, because you know Bond was at one point

- Anyone else notice that everything on the station is marked so it is idiot proof, the big red button has a label saying what it does

- Yes because the US can just send a space shuttle at the drop of a hat

- How the hell did he learn how to fly the spaceship?!

* First Viewing?: Yes

* My thoughts: Shallow, slapstick, no acting at all. I cannot emphasize enough how ridiculous this was, there is very little to redeem it except that it doesn't try to be serious. 4/10

Mood: Chillin'
Tags: james bond
Cochise at 05:52 PM Nov 29

too bad you couldn't enjoy this one. I recall having a blast with this one every time. It's a damn good and enjoyable over the top flick. Fun cheese. I dig it.

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