Just f*cking around
Vineyard worker / Scarred Psychiatrist chasing Evil on two legs
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#1 Movie of All-Time
#1 Romantic Comedy
#1 Movie Character
KING Of All Schmoes
It's Family Day here in the Great White North , so I thought ' why not throw on one of my favorite 'family' films ? ' A group of young bank robbers flee to the French countryside and a remote Inn , only to discover that it's run by a family of cannibalistic neo-Nazis . Tonight's viewing selection is Xavier Gens' FRONTIERS . '' In Africa , owners of diamond mines use this method to keep the workers from running away . ''
Super stoked to check out the latest horror offering from Gore Verbinski , and the great buzz from those lucky enough to have already caught it is just fanning the flames . When a young executive is sent to retrieve an AWOL CEO from an isolated spa , he begins to realize that all is not what it appears to be , and that this simple task is far more complex than he could ever have imagined . Tonight's viewing selection is the 10:10 show at the old Cineplex of A CURE FOR WELLNESS .
I was given this movie as a birthday gift about 5 years ago , and I was blown away by how much I dug it . That being said , I haven't seen it since I got it , so I thought tonight would be a great time to remedy that . Rainn Wilson , Liv Tyler and the lovely and talented Ellen Page star in James Gunn's SUPER , tonight's viewing selection. '' You tell everyone you know ! That anytime some stupid fucking bastard wants to commit some gay ass crime that Crimson Bolt and Boltie are gonna be there to crush their little fucking evil heads in . ''
One of my fave horror films of 2015 , it's buoyed by strong performances , nice kills and some pretty sweet cinematography . And Barbara Crampton .When a grieving couple move into a country home , they soon learn that their house , and the townsfolk around them hide a monstrous secret . Tonight's viewing selection is Ted Geoghegan's WE ARE STILL HERE . '' It's been 30 years since we've had fresh souls in the Dagmar house . ''
I honestly recall very little about this film , other than it was supposedly a 'one-take' flick and it starred the lovely Elizabeth Olsen . That's because either a) I see a shitload of films and it's hard to remember everything or b) it wasn't really all that memorable . I'm hoping for a) . Tonight's viewing selection is Chris Kentis and Laura Lau's SILENT HOUSE .
Haven't caught me a good stoner flick in a while , so I'll throw on one of my favorites . Seth Rogen and James Franco run afoul of a drug dealer after Rogen witnesses him commit a murder . Hilarity ensues . Rolling a couple then throwing on Tonight's viewing selection , David Gordon Green's PINEAPPLE EXPRESS . '' I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death I am right now . Like , am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body . ''
Snowed in so JOHN WICK is gonna have to thrill me on another day . This evening , I'm wrapping up Fave Horror remake week with a very entertaining double bill . First up is my all time fave horror redo , Zack Snyder's take on George A. Romero's classic zombie flick. Next is Marcus Nispel's entry into the 'Friday' franchise , a film I can understand the purists hating , but one I always have a great time with . Tonight's viewing selections are DAWN OF THE DEAD and FRIDAY THE 13th . '' Bart , dude , everybody's dead , okay ? Your mom's dead . Your brother's dead . That fat chick at Dairy Queen ? Dead ! ''
While I dug George A. Romero's 1973 original , I find that Breck Eisner's redo has a higher rewatch value , superior performances and it's one of the better remakes on a whole to come out . Timothy Olyphant , Radha Mitchell and Danielle Panabaker star in Tonight's viewing selection THE CRAZIES . '' Do you wanna give up ? You wanna sit here and die , tell me , and I will sit here and die with you . ''
One of the best modern updates of a classic flick , this one really doesn't get the love it deserves . Directed by Chuck Russell , this redo ups the gore and pretty much everything else , but never loses that sweet B-Movie feel . Tonight's viewing selection is 1988's THE BLOB . '' Your meteor brought something all right but if it's a germ , it's the biggest son of a bitch you've ever seen . ''
John Carpenter's re-imagining of 1951's THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD is one of my favorite genre flicks period . Great cast , cool kills , outstanding fx , stellar cinematography and a constant sense of dread running throughout all combine to make this one of the greatest sci-fi/horror flicks ever , and one of my favorite remakes. '' I know you gentlemen have been through a lot , but when you find the time , I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH ! ''