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#1 Movie of All-Time
#1 Romantic Comedy
#1 Movie Character
KING Of All Schmoes
Hello out there MFCeeeeee!!!
It's your friendly underrated (or is it "rated" now since about to became KING SCHMOE a little bit back?) TC-23 once again hitting you guys up on the last day of the year. The last hurrah before the change. The last donut. The last film credit. The last starfighter. The last witch hunter. The last house on the left. And so on...
Sigh....2 0 1 6.
As you may or may not know, normally on this day I always rip out a blog and just kind of...offer up a little introspection about this last year a bit. I figure, why start changing that now, as I'm sure many of us are walking down memory lane on the last 364. I know I am. But, this year, not as much as I normally would. In a shocker to the system, I'm not balls-to-the-wall excited about what's to come in the New Year but...I am looking forward to seeing if what I want can truly come to pass.
It's all been pretty lucid, to say the least, which I've deduced is a positive thing. A mucho positive thing. Which we all need...with gusto.
But as it stands....2016 has been a roller-coaster year. More-so than last year and even the year before that if you can believe it. I sure as shit don't. Which isn't really a shocker either. Seems like, each year has brought about its own maze, cornucopia, or...smorgasbord of highs, lows, sides, and "huh?"s that cannot be denied, swayed, or even shortened. Whether it was by my hand, my choice, someone else, or the universe having its way with me like a dirty whore with clear heels, many events took me to my limit, beyond, and back again. Sometimes all in the same serving. I swear as I'm typing this out right now, I've never been more existential or inquisitive.
The world itself seems to have launched off the deep end, literally drowning in its own insanity, ignorance and self-aggrandizing entitlement....so much so, that its a wonder I've gone outside some days. Yet, like the world itself, reflecting on my own little existence, no matter how insane it may have gotten, tomorrow always came. Always.
As much as I and many of us believed that the world was coming to an impromptu end. It didn't. We're all still here, chugging along. And considering the beyond staggering number of people that have died this year, whether those in the public eye or not, its quickly reaffirming that simply breathing is an accomplishment.
Which speaks volumes to the strength, resilience, and even pure unbridled Luck that we all possess.
Now..This is the part where I indulge in a bit of catharsis so bare with me for a moment. This time, its personal...
At the beginning of the year, My mother nearly passed away. I won't bore you with the insane amount of details but, her health deteriorated greatly because of a procedure she had, which was necessary but painstaking as well. She couldn't eat, barely drank fluids, and lost an obscene amount of weight in the process.
She was admitted and re-admitted to the hospital about several times, each time being worse than the last (At her last stay she even had a bad fall because of her incompetent nurses and suffered a huge concussion. Needless to say, we were not pleased)
It was touch and go there for a while until finally, her body became acclimated to the procedure and she was able to start eating again,
My father and I were there through all of it with barely any sleep...As you all know my father has been going through his own journey of recovery based on everything that happened to him one faithful night 4 years ago. (Heart Attack, Open- Heart Surgery, Fibromyalgia. etc.) So all of this wasn't good for him.
He never complained though...
But I had to be my folks' rock through this. Not really a stretch since I do everything anyway but....this was different.
And because of it, for a better part of spring and summer my responsibilities towards them doubled. I was running around more than ever, doing anything and everything they asked of me.
Looking back on it now, I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I would've changed on key aspect.
I would've thought of myself more..
Now, with my folks being better and doing more than they ever have since both their battles respectfully started, I am left with a query that I'm familiar with, yet now resonates in my mind stronger than...
What do I want moving forward?
Which is what 2017 will be about for this humble schmoe. I have....sacrificed and lost bits and pieces of myself without even noticing to a point where my own future draws a blank. A weird vacant blank. Almost an abyss.
My passions have faltered and I have stretched myself too thin.
I've been terrified about that. Scared that I don't know who I am without my responsibilities towards my folks and even the pain I've had to endure from others I've cared for.
But even that has changed as well because this year I've FINALLY ended my 8-year friendship with my best friend and stopped associating myself with those who clearly didn't have my best interests at heart.
In a way, with this new year coming, it truly means that I'm about to start over....from scratch...and truly find a way to live my life again...for me.
For the first time...again. If you will.
And No, It hasn't all been doom and gloom....
- I watched an insane about of good television. (Top list coming soon. Natch!)
- Went to Vegas. (Which I dreamed about for the entire year and still look at it as one of the best times of my life)
- Watched a good amount of great films. (Still on catch-up mode but I will watch a few more before making my little list but its been a blast)
- Met some actual decent people who are still in my life.
- Saw both my folks through everything they dealt with.
And I even got a new cell phone that's not a brick Nokia. (Finally getting with the times)
BUT unfortunately, the positives were completely eclipsed by the negative.
I'm not going to sugar-coat this because this is as real as it gets peeps. I have no shame in stating that I do not possess what I man my age should. I have no problem stating that I have spread myself razor thin throughout all of this. AND I have no problems stating that I should've made better choices with not only those I've associated myself with, but with my own vices, insecurities, emotions and health.
I'm as fractured as I've ever been...
I'm still here.
WE'RE still here.
I've never used them in a pretentious or unreal manner but I won't waste your time with platitudes this time around. I will just re-state.
WE are still here schmoes. Flaws and all. Struggles and All. Passions and All.
And THAT, my dear schmoes, makes all the difference in the vast cosmos.
And we will all still be here next year too. I can bet on that.
It won't be easy....especially for me. But I will do this. And I know I have support in all of you as you all do in me. Even those of you I don't speak to very often. Whether you are reading this or not, I want you to know that I care for you all and want you all to be as happy and vibrant as humanly possible.
It's what we deserve.
It's what we are all worth.
And now...I believe that of myself. So...I'm going for it..Going for it All!
I would like to Thank ALL OF THE SCHMOES who took the time on this as well as those who made your own wishes for us in the New Year.
Do I need to restate how all of you make this place great? Nope. Didn't think so, because you do! Keep those posts coming! Keep loving those movies! And keep sharing your thoughts, opinions, passions, and exuberance for what life has coming for all of you.
So Tonight, Let's raise a glass or whatever you may be drinking and let's bring in this new era the way it was meant to be; With Love, Honor, and The cinematic fortitude of Epic-ness! Oh and of course, Let's get ready for another INSURMOUNTABLY SPECTACULAR year at the Movies!!