Finally an epic battle in a Superhero movie. Like it lived up to it all.
Full Time Writer AKA Unemployed
#1 Movie of All-Time
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Very interesting read, even if you don't like porn.
I actually study sex. Well, I work with people who have been sexually assaulted/molested and have troubles achieving a healthy sexual life. Once I get an advance degree, I plan to do a lot more with it, but for now, it has mostly been helping people who have been repressed and wronged sexually finding what it is that helps them achieve a certain level of sexual satisfaction.
Sex is one of the big things in life, anyone who says otherwise, I think doesn't realize what a healthy sexual lifestyle does. It promotes a ton of self confidence, it does make you look better, it is a solid work out, and according to a new study, a kinky sex life makes you mentally healthier.
So I read a blurb about the study and it made sense based on my own observations and work I have been doing. People who partake in a more kink based sex life tend to be more confident in their every day lifestyle. A lot of people, based in the USA, tend to be ashamed of their own sexual desires. Be it in porno, or dressing up like a clown while a fairy princess spanks you, people think because I like that, there is something wrong with me.
Survivors of sexual assault blame themselves even more. It is unfortunate that during a sexual assault, your body betrays you. Erections are achieved, a woman will become wet and sometimes orgasm can be achieved. These are automatic responses, but it makes people feel ashamed. So they tend to bury their sexual desires.
In my own personal work, when helping someone look past their assault, they tend to seek a more non-normal sexual release. BD/SM is one of the biggest of those desires because it is all about the power. Being in control, having to trust someone. And if there is no trust, there is no real sex, let alone something as advance as BD/SM.
I think this is mostly because people need that outlet. Don't get me wrong, Vanilla is awesome because just in general sex is awesome, but now and again, role play or some other element can make things more exciting.
Watching porn is a huge fantasy for a lot of people to share with someone they care about because this is an opportunity to share a fantasy without having to ask someone to partake in it. It helps build trust which is someone survivors lack a lot of time. It also helps them build their own confidence once again within themselves.
I hate when people talk about people who work in porno as being whores, sluts, children of broken homes and what not. Because you will find so much of the same in other fields. In fact, in porn, nowadays at least, people get to set their own standards and work in the field out of choice. Yes, some of these people have suffered through horrific experiences and fell into something that they feel they have to do because there is nothing else for them. Those people do need help.
But the ones who are in the field because it excites them, they enjoy what they do, who they work with and get to set their own schedule, those folks have helped tons of people. They make people excited about their own bodies. They make them excited about sex and in some cases, can help them finally express themselves.
The moment my childhood ended can be brought down to the very second. It was on May 28, 2013. I woke up very early in the morning shaking with a terrible fever. I debated whether or not I wanted to make the phone call. I was just laying in my bed with Dresden, my kitten next to me. At 8:30 AM, I called the Theodore Vet Clinic and asked to speak with Dr. Barr hoping to hear that Dash was able to stand on his own.
Unfortunately, no. No, Dash was not able to and it did not look like he was going to have any kind of improvement. I said thank you and that I would see him later that day.
I called my Mom and asked her to come downstairs. See, my mom just had surgery on her ankle a little bit ago and she needs a walker to get around so it took a few minutes. She came down and had a smile on her face till I told her the bad news. She sat down and tried not to cry. I held back my tears as much as I could because I had a lot to do. I had just gone through this gauntlet of emotions a few months earlier with Sam. I had hoped it would be easier.
Fighting a fever and the urge to release my bowels all over myself once again, I went to the garage where my Dad keeps his garden tools to begin digging the hole. My Dad came down to help me, but in the end, he ended up doing it all himself. My Dad has always been my Dragon. A wonderful beast full of the fire I would need to get me through any and all challenges. My Dad and I dug out that hole until I felt as if I was going to collapse and went inside. My Dad wasn’t holding it together any better than we were. This hurt him so much more I think. He is a doctor surrounded by death, but he never accepts it as an end because there is always something else that has to be done.
I couldn’t make this man do this. I couldn’t ask him to witness more Death because he has seen enough hardships through the years of life beating him down. I pulled myself together and told my body that we had one more thing to do. Pulling on some clothes, I told my Mother we were going. We got into her van, but not before packing the comforter that Dash slept with in the bed I shared with him. I drove off.
The radio was on, but all I remembered was the song I’ll be watching you which in this moment hurt me to my very core and I think will always sting in me from that moment on.
We arrived, and I didn’t hesitate to go in. I told the staff I needed to see Dr. Barr. I was led back to the second exam room which is the Hollywood room. A poster of Gone with the Wind is on the wall. Behind the door, the top 100 movie quotes which I can name most of sits. Dr. Barr is going to be with us in a moment as my Mom pushes herself into the chair and I stand by the window thinking about what I am about to do.
Dr. Barr comes in and I immediately tell him I made the decision to stop the pain. He says I am making the right decision. They bring him in, strapped to a stretcher so I can see him for a few minutes. He is so full of life. He is healthy except that his body can’t stand on his own. He has peed on himself and he cannot roll in the grass. Amy, the vet tech I have flirted with everytime I bring in Dash or Sam comes in and tells me how sorry she is. She was there when I lost Sam. She knows how much I love him.
My Mom reaches out and rubs his ears. His tongue hangs out of his mouth as he rolls his head trying to find me. I can’t bring myself to touch him yet. It hurts too much. It’s because I am blaming myself. Dash broke his leg when he was 3 and it never healed properly. He has had a bad limp since and has no strength in his back legs. But he gets around. I call him my cripple puppy and laugh as people run from him as he barks. I loved watching him go.
In a moment of play, tossing the catnip toy that I use with Dresden, Dresden took out Dash’s leg causing his to hit the ground hard on his tail, causing the swelling to impact his spinal cord which took the strength out of him. Everyone has told me it was a freak accident, it wasn’t my fault because he was getting weak before. But this isn’t a guilt that will be dismissed because I will carry it believing that if I hadn’t tossed it towards were Dash was walking, Dresden would not have hit him and my Puppy would still be here.
I finally knell down scratching him between the eyes like I always did. I spoke to him, I don’t remember what. I know I told loved him. Someone hands me some tissues and I wiped my eyes holding him. He is just so damn happy to see me. Finally, I need to do this. Amy brings in the paperwork that says I give the vet permission to kill my dog of 15 years and the Dr comes back in with a large syringe full of pink poison.
I hold him, knowing what to expect. I have tears, but I have not been crying. I just tell him, I got you, boy. I won’t let go. I love you.
I just keep saying I love you over and over because I want him to know that I only do this to stop the pain.
He fights. Damn he growls because it hurts. Not the medicine, but getting it injected does. About half way, the breathing is very labored as I hold him. My mouth on his ear, I tell him I love him as he stops breathing. At that moment, my childhood ended. The last fragment I had to hold on from the days when things were is forever gone by a signature of my own hand and I will never forget that.
He is wrapped and carried to the car. He is placed in the back and we drive to the home. My Dad meets us outside, helping me carrying my boy. As we get over the grave, my body gives up, and I drove him. Damn me, I dropped my boy.
My Dad tells me its OK, my brother telling me he will bury him, but no. Despite the fever and chills, the pain in my heart, I will bury my dog. And I do. I don’t say anything. I can’t.
I go inside. Several friends send condolences to me. Dresden is waiting for me. I go to Cammie, Dash’s best friend in the world and I hold her and I tell her I am so sorry. She doesn’t understand. She just knows Dash isn’t here and she misses him.
This year I have lost the two fragments of my childhood who only gave me the best. My childhood ended May 28, 2013 and it started ending on January 14, 2013.
Today, I cry not only for Dash, but for Sam. Even though I have Dresden, and we are forced to have a new puppy here to help keep Cammie going, I weep for them knowing that they are together again and running around happily. I love you boys. I miss you and I will see you again someday distant. The pain hurts now. It’ll turn into the joy of the memories of them. But not yet.
I have a great respect for Whedon in what he does. He crafted the mythologies of Buffy/Angel and Firefly. He has a loyal fan base. He deserves it in some respects. And he did do Dr. Horrible as well which is a flawless piece of work. Though I don't think he is entirely the right person to lead up the Marverse entirely.
Jon Favreau was the strongest of the directors coming out of the gates for Marvel. He got it right, he nailed everything and he fought for Robert Downey Jr to be cast which is amazing. Face is, RDJ is the most perfect piece of casting in Comic Book history and this coming from a guy who thinks Bale and Snipes are perfect casting as well. Marvel is admittedly a terrible company in the aspect of them sucking at negotiating with people and being giant assholes.
The people in charge of Marvel right now have alienated me almost completely as a fan. I am still a major Captain America fan, Blade and Spider-Man as well as Wolverine. I do love Cable, but teaming him with Deadpool dramatically decreased my interest. Though Spider-Man, as of the last few years, has become hollow and lame. This is apparently due to trying to make him hipper to young kids via the use of Magic as well as trying to reinvent a character by killing Peter Parker and replacing him with a different kind of Spider-Man. I have not read the new Ultimate stuff so I don't know how it went, but 616 Spider-Man, I got zero interest in. I am in the process of buying some older storylines in the form of Tradepaperbacks, but I do not see myself investing in the current Marvel.
X-Men never really appealed to me outside of Wolverine. So I have no investment in anything going on with that.
I liked Avengers, but Whedon wasn't the only person who could have made the movie. And I also want to criticize Marvel for their use of Loki continually who I feel is a weak villain in general, but I admit I have a bias against Thor in the Marvel Universe as I think he is a weak character and very uninteresting. I think I tend to believe I could design a better story for some of the movies i have been seeing Marvel turn out. That is the writer part of me. I find that the stories tend to be the worst part of the Marverse simply because they popcorn it up too much and don't tend to pull much out in the way of emotions. I personally feel that Phase 1 had its best entries in The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man.
My criticism of Thor is silly for most people I think. Loki motivations felt superficial to me, Thor learns nothing at all and has no real reasons to care about Earth other than he wants to bang Portman who in turn doesn't have any reason to like the clearly mentally disturbed gentleman other than he is pretty.
Captain America is just a fucking montage, montage, montage with bad development on Red Skull who never felt like a threat to me, an underplayed romance arc, terrible casting in Chris Evans. I never saw Captain America at war.
I am not sure what to expect with upcoming Marvel movies, but I did like IM3.
Marvel in comics though I have given up for future titles for now because they don't seem to care about the titles as much as being more corporate tool. I don't know, but I am just not feeling Marvel anymore.
I know people have been criticizing DC with the direction of their comics with the New 52 and the pisspoor movies they have been releasing. Nolan is heading up things from a distance. Goyer seems to be the story guy for all these heroes and rumor has it Snyder is looking at being given full run. I'm just....I miss when comic books were simpler times. So I just needed to vent