I was just about to play a game of Wheel of Fortune when holy shit, I realized I am playing with Conan and Joblo. lmao

tbondrage99 at 11:41 PM Jan 04

Haha awesome!

RagingFellaDriver16 at 07:26 AM Jan 05

thats wild

timmyd at 11:17 AM Jan 05

hahaha . fantastic !!

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Dusted off the old sketch pad and took her for a spin earlier. Felt great to revive an old passion.

Derek237 at 08:38 PM Nov 14

That is great

timmyd at 11:03 PM Nov 14

very cool .

RustyRazor at 07:20 AM Nov 15

Nicely done.

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Cool V/H/S art.

Cochise at 04:18 PM Oct 15

love the second one, top middle

YoshioKun13 at 07:57 PM Oct 15

I gotta see this fuckin' MOVIE!!!

horrorfan23 at 09:12 PM Oct 15

I'm loving them all.

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Smiley Review

Smiley starts off like many slasher movies do, introduce some random chick in slutty clothing, cue the tense atmosphere of impending doom, add a jump scare or 2, and then end scene with our slasher making a bloody entrance. Right off the bat, this movie uses a tired formula that not only has been done a thousand times before, but has been done a thousand times better before. This is the perfect setup to this movie though. Since the filmmakers used rehashed material borrowed from so many movies before, why make people think that they’re in for something they’re not? But slinging around a tired formula doesn’t necessarily have to mean mediocrity, and someone should’ve told the filmmakers of Smiley that.

Smiley relies on the basics for its story telling. Urban legend + over obnoxious college kids + virgin that no one believes + slasher = horror. This is a formula that we’re all familiar with and one that has worked time and again. The problem is, it didn’t work for Smiley, and here is why. Firstly, the acting was atrocious. I’ve seen better acting on public access cable shows that were more convincing than this cast was. And the overuse of teen slang would make Diablo Cody roll her eyes in disgust. Secondly, where was the suspense? The filmmakers did almost nothing to create a creepy atmosphere, and that is an absolute must in horror films. If you refuse to make the environment scary, how do you expect people to be scared when something actually happens? Turdly, the characters were so one dimensional that I didn’t give a shit if anything happened to them anyway. Whenever someone died at the hands of Smiley I was pretty much relieved, mostly because I knew that I was that much closer to the end of the flick.

Lastly, and this is hands down my biggest problem with the movie, the complete copout of an ending it has. The only way this formula works is if you don’t over complicate things. Take the most iconic slashers to date for example. Michael Myers, Leatherface, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger; all these characters are beloved because they are who they are. These guys kill because that’s who they are and what they do, plain and simple. I don’t want to spoil the end for anybody, but I’ll just say that in the end, there is more time explaining things than time spent on kills during the entire movie. During these explanations, I couldn’t help but feel the filmmakers went the route they did because they don’t have enough faith in the intellect of their audience. So instead of implying the situation, the basically brought in charts and pie graphs and explained everything in a power point presentation. Whatever little bit of intrigue they built into the story of Smiley was completely pissed on with that ending.

In the end, Smiley was a watered down, half assed joke of a horror movie, and even the 4 minutes that Keith David were in it couldn’t make this movie watchable. I could’ve overlooked almost every problem with this flick if they hadn’t overcomplicated that ending. There are a lot of horror movies that are filled with annoying kids and bad acting but are still good because of the main event: the killer. But they took a potentially good thing and completely fucked it up. If I had to make a single analogy with Smiley, I would say it’s like having a friend drop in with a huge bag of juicy cheeseburgers, but as soon as you get excited about them he starts jamming them up his ass while you watch.

My Rating: 3/10 - A little credit goes for casting Keith David, although he was severely under used; Smiley's face which was so badass that it deserved to be in a better flick; and for a small handful of scenes that were fairly decent.

Mood: Chillin'

timmyd at 12:22 PM Oct 10

Yup , huge disappointment . Paint by number storytelling , and they couldn't even use paint . UGH !!

Nite Owl at 09:44 PM Jun 15

Just wait till you get to season 2.

VitamanMan8 at 10:19 PM Jun 15

Love it so much. Glad you're joining the Game of Thrones train! And hopefully too much hasn't been spoiled for you.

Sylar Victim #420 at 02:49 PM Jun 16

Surprisingly nothing has been spoiled for me, I knew that I was eventually gonna dive into the series so I purposely avoided any and all conversations about it. Which is good cuz it seems like a show that has a lot of shocking moments and cliff hangers. Can't wait to see what is in store. I'm holding hoping that one of those dragon eggs are gonna hatch. But god be with you if you spoil it for me!! lol.

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Screen #3 worth 5 pts.

VitamanMan8 at 10:22 PM Jun 15

Wow. I have literally never heard of that movie.

Sylar Victim #420 at 02:51 PM Jun 16

Surprising. Not that it was a big movie but it did make it to theaters and was raising a lot of eyebrows when it was shelved for like 2 years before it was finally released. But it's an awesome movie, you should give it a go.

zombie_bro at 02:54 PM Jun 16

it is a good movie and now that i know what movie these scenes are from it makes me angry because i now recognize that radio...ugh...guess its been too long since i have watched it

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Terminal_83 at 08:27 AM Jun 16

@Sylar Victim 240: You should really look harder than, because I've seen plenty of criticism for the Madea movies. Spike Lee and Tyler Perry have had a verbal war for over a year now because of them. Lee calls them "cooning and buffooning."

But like I said, if people want to waste time and money on garbage, I don't sweat it. Everywhere I go people watch reality shows, TMZ, Bayformers, they love Twilight and rave about Lady Gaga, so one more piece of crap on the trash heap doesn't bother me a bit.

YoshioKun13 at 11:03 AM Jun 16

I'm AGREEING with you Terminal_83!

I said you weren't wrong about these movies, they're NOT respectable adaptations. But tell me, how is the portrayal of the Umbrella Corp in the movies different from the games(1 - 3, I don't know what's in 4 & 5). What character names did they change? Did they change any of them from male into female or vice-versa? Did they alter the look of the monsters?

I know what's different between the games(1 - 3) and the movie product, 'kay. I suppose I'm putting it into the context of comparing what happened with SILENT HILL. That's the thing here, why does that fuckin' horror video game adaptation get a fucking pass when..........it's basically committed the same cinematic crimes as its infinitely more successful counterpart? Why doesn't that movie get bagged on as much as the RE movies, why the double standard here? I don't get it. They're both terrible adaptations, I merely presuppose to you if it's even possible that Silent Hill was done............worse.

I'm no more deluded about the RE movies as other people are about SH. Until I see the God-damn SH movie(s) getting the same treatment that RE does, I will personally dedicate myself to defending and promoting the RE films. If ya wanna join me in my cause to bury the SH movie, you're more than welcome to and I shall do the same for you in relation to RE. Or, we can continue to be on opposite ends of this thing.

And the 1st SILENT HILL movie, it dawned on me that it ripped off specific scenes from HELLRAISER III. The RE movies aren't the only ones shamelessly ripping off other, and better, horror movies.

Sylar Victim #420 at 11:14 AM Jun 16

When I mentioned the fact that there really isn't an over abundant amount of hate for the Madea movies like there is the RE movies, I meant around here. And the reason I mention it is because it seems like those who keep complaining about the new RE movie is doing so because there is a few people here who enjoy them, so others feel the need to tear them down. I haven't seen anybody post any trailers for movies like Madea and calling them shit like I did with the new RE trailer. I'm simply pointing out the blatant bashing of the film by people who like to tear down things that other people enjoy for their own reasons. If the Madea fan base was vocal around MFC, I'd bet my left nut it would get torn to shreds by those who roll their eyes at such movies, but since there doesn't seem to be a vocal fan base, there really isn't a reason to tear it apart as there is nobody's toes to step on in the process. Like the movies, hate the movies, who cares? But when you take time out of your day to insult those who do like them, then you're just being a straight up dick.

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