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September 2017

June 30th


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#1 Movie of All-Time
The Big Lebowski
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This place is still here?
4,409 Posts
Super Schmoe
Servo updated his STATUS: about 1 year ago

This place is still here?
Weapon X
Weapon X at 02:24 AM Sep 13

Yep, we haven't burned it down yet. Believe me, I've tried plenty.

Welcome back, bruv.

Servo updated his STATUS: almost 2 years ago

Creatures crawl in search of blood, to terrorize ya'lls neighborhood.
WalkAway at 02:03 PM Oct 26

BATeMAN at 02:43 PM Oct 26

The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller!

Servo updated his STATUS: over 3 years ago

leesemarie at 05:52 PM Feb 21


JohnLocke2342 at 10:44 PM Feb 21

I voted for Smaug for obvious reasons but also because IT'S A TALKING FUCKING DRAGON AND WE STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN DRAGONHEART 2 YET.

cerealkiller182 at 12:07 AM Feb 22

yea I definitely wasn't a fan of this category this year. At least Gary King is somewhat sympathetic, so I voted for him. I was hoping for Mud or Rockwell in Way Way Back.

Read all 19 comments >>

Servo posted a BLOG item over 3 years ago



Today started off as any other day. I woke up under a bright, sunny Florida sky and went about my morning by driving to my 8-5 (I put an extra hour in for Jesus) listening to that slice of Americana we all lovingly refer to as Morning Zoo-Style radio. The work-day went swimmingly. I typed away at my computer, whose illuminated screen with an American Flag desktop wallpaper kept my eye balls warm and energized, aiding my honest day's work. But it was as if Andrew had come to produce it's own sequel to the mayhem he caused all those years ago, because the day suddenly grew DARK.

How dark you say?


Listen up, Hollywood. I am a FAN of The Fantastic Four. Do you know what that means? Of course you don't. Let me explain: I have a righteous, unforgiving LOVE for America's First Superhero Family that runs so deep that the slightest change caused by some LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR'S "VISION" could quite possibly cause an aneurism in my precious, Fantastic-Four-Filled brain so bad that it would EXPLODE. Why, my love for this comic book property is so enormous, that sometimes I forget that they're fictional characters. So imagine my surprise, when I discover that Johnny Storm, aka The Human Torch, was cast in Josh Trank's (aka The Next Stalin) adaptation of Fantastic Four - the pain in my head was so unbearable, that I had to cover my face in 10 pounds of apple pie filling and and consume three loafs of White Wonder Bread (my nickname on my High School Lacrosse team, bee-tee-dubz. LAX BROz 4 LIFE).

Let me tell you why this casting decision doesn't work.

1. He Looks Nothing Like How I Have Envisioned Johnny Storm Despite the Fact That 100s If Not 1000s of Artists Have Added Their Own Style to His Design in Comic Books, Cartoons, Comic Strips and Movies. The movie business is not "show art," my friends, it's "show business," we don't really care about some movie-maker's "vision," because us fans want to see all of the images that we have consumed as opposed to getting laid to literally jump out of the page and onto the big screen.. That's what every comic book reader wants to see! IT'S COMMON SENSE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

2. ADAPTATION-SHMADAPTATION- Look I don't know much about the word "adaptation" outside of the overrated Spike Lee movie starring Nicholas Cage, but I think it has something to do with taking a piece of art from one medium and modifying it to fit with another medium or something to preserve the integrity of the medium attempting to adapt the product? Or something? Look, who cares. It's difficult enough trying to keep my mind from expanding from learning new pieces of information that could possibly change my out-dated opinions, and now you want me to just accept the possibility that Johnny Storm or Sue Storm were adopted? Or...or...oh Jesus...COME FROM A MIXED RACE FAMILY?! I'm not racist, ok? I have black friends, ok? But Fantastic Four was first written in 1961. There was this little thing happening back then called "segregation." It was a dark time in Our Nation's Blessed History, for sure. Back then it was pretty controversial to portray an African-American in a comic book, or in any kind of media for that matter - and we need to keep that vision alive. WAIT. STOP. HEAR ME OUT. How can we as a Christian Nation expect to progress move forward if we forget about these atrocious times? We need to constantly remind ourselves of the mistakes we made by continuing the status quo of a bygone era in our adaptations from said era. DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. THIS DECISION IS LITERALLY RACIST. What's really been plaguing me all day is the thought that a white actor doesn't get to fulfill his dream of playing Johnny Storm. I mean there was probably some kid who read Fantastic Four comic books growing up, watched the cartoons, spent countless hours training at Acting School, only to be told at the Casting Office of Hollywood, "Nope, sorry, we're not hiring white people for this role." HOW IS THAT NOT RACIST???? His dreams are probably shattered, having to settle for some job where he makes a measly 45k a year with benefits. Ugh, it just makes me sick to my stomach.

I've already been dealt some oppression over these views after I vehemently expressed them at work. The Liberal Elite and the Civil Rights Goon Squad need to check their privilege and remember that they are LITERALLY EXEGETING GOSPEL when they make a comic book movie; and die hard fans, who have devoted countless dollars and time and bodily fluids to these properties are the ones who should always come to mind when making any kind of decision. But no, Hollywood has deserted us! I don't care how good your script is, or how competent your directing is, or that you were able to take a property that was mostly forgotten about and turned it into something digestible, fresh, relevant, blah blah blah. I want what I grew up with!

Now, I'm sure Michael B. Jordan is a great guy. I haven't seen any of his movies nor have I heard of any of them, and I sure as hell have never been to a basketball game before. But he's just not right for the part. Not by a long shot. And that's a fact, Jack.

Mood: Angry
leesemarie at 07:30 PM Feb 20

i love you and everything you do

cerealkiller182 at 07:37 PM Feb 20


razgriz21 at 04:45 PM Feb 21

Contender for blog of the year.

Read all 6 comments >>

Servo posted a BLOG item over 4 years ago

Beasts of the Southern Wild - Don't Believe This Movie, Being Poor Actually Sucks

I have two different critiques of this film. One is based purely on whether or not it was a well-crafted film with memorable performances and an engaging story, and the other is based on how suburban white kids need to shut up.

Beasts of the Southern Wild is obviously a fantasy, and it offers a twist on the genre by having it set in a very familiar 21st Century-ish New Orleans in a somewhat flooded land called Bathtub, or as I call it, Not-New Orleans. When the world is thrown out of whack by a massive storm that causes the town to be completely flooded, a young girl by the name of Hushpuppy sets out with her father and company to bring stability back to their home. If you could call what they had "stability."

See, the people in Bathtub are poor. And like most poor people perceived by suburban white kids that free wheel on cargo trains every summer, they have way better lives in their poorness than we do. They reject healthcare because who needs it, they drink every day because it's not a crutch for the standards of living, they're just living in the moment! And Wink, Hushpuppy's father, well, smacking his daughter repeatedly in the face is just a trial for Hushpuppy to overcome for her to find her own inner strength!

Yes, life in the Bathtub, though not exactly glamorous, is something to be envied by us all, because they've totally rejected society, man.

Dear lord, where do I even begin.

I'm conflicted. When Spike Jonze made Where The Wild Things Are, I wanted to love it because of its gorgeous visuals and authenticity within its own fantasy world. But the film's lack of a true narrative, no engaging story, and a less-than-stellar performance by its lead made what could be a memorable experience into something forgettable and mediocre.

That's not the case with Beasts. For one, the performances are incredible. In fact, the acting alone is, I'm sure, the reason it has been so embraced by the Academy. Quvenzhané Wallis is an acting warrioress, and the amount of energy and presence she exudes is baffling considering her size. I hope she sticks to acting, and I hope she takes it in the right direction, because I think she has what it takes to transcend child-stardom and become a true actress. There's also Dwight Henry as Wink, Hushpuppy's troubled father. Like Wallis, Henry has no background in acting, and is in fact a baker in New Orleans, yet he delivers a powerful and tragic (albeit frustrating - I hate his character. More on that later.) performance.

The story is about finding one's inner strength while searching for stability in a world turned upside down. The story may not make sense at first but the more I dwelled on it the more sense it made, and I understood the point. And unlike Where The Wild Things Are, it had a direction to accompany the amazing visual language and gorgeous score.

Having said that…

There is nothing charming about poverty. It isn't kitschy or cute, and I found the relationship between Wink and Hushpuppy way too disturbing, and thought that it hit way too close to home for me to even begin to root or even feel for a character like Wink. I know I'm letting my moral flag fly with this one, and I'll most likely be looked at as oversensitive. But the presentation of their relationship isn't cautionary, it isn't used to display the dangers of abuse, but as a way of life that we should accept and celebrate, because it's part of what molds Hushpuppy on her journey. And I hate that. I feel like this a prevailing theme in cinema, television, literature, hell, even comics, that the only way a woman can become strong and independent is to have the shit beat out of her by someone abusive and controlling. I'm sure Benh Zeitlin and Lucy Alibar were well-intentioned, but to me they missed the mark. I think they told a good story, and I think they crafted a well-made film, but it's subtext is what bothers me, and the representation of America's poor that a lot of suburban white kids completely misconstrue. It's on par with the college kid that travels to Africa and takes hundreds of pictures of themselves holding malnourished babies, only to go home two weeks later and return to their spin classes and Pinterest parties.

I'm glad that the Academy continues to recognize films of this scope, as this is a prime example of what I would consider to be a true independent film, and I continue to support that. But even though it's well-made, I can't completely support the film's views. Though I'm sure it is being recognized for its performances and visual language, I'm not so naive to think the Academy isn't once again patting themselves on their backs and reveling in their misguided views and exaggerated affection for the downtrodden of this country, and even the world.

Mood: Chillin'
Derek237 at 02:11 PM Feb 18

I'm conflicted about it because on one hand I can almost forgive/understand its sort of "fairy tale" like presentation, because the main character is a child and it's all seen through a child's eyes, and there's an innocence to that and if the story is shown through her point of view and there's nothing to do with actual politics or morality as far as she's concerned, but there's also just no growth and no kind of catharsis. She goes from point A to point B but then back to point A. Along the way we see this alarming underbelly of America that must be forgotten by the rest of the world. We saw a very similar world in Winter's Bone, also with a strong female character who fights to protect it. So I wonder why I would love that movie with so little hesitation but feel a little uneased about this one. I think the movie does unfortunately talk down to the audience just a little bit, while Winter's Bone didn't pull any punches, and was frank about its subject matter. But hell, look at Dickens, look at the poverty and desperation at the height of the industrial revolution, presented as a whimsical tale in Oliver obviously it can be done, but shit, it's just such touchy subject matter. Beasts had one foot in fantasy and the other in a harsh reality, and I think it's that imbalance that makes it so hard - for me- to love. Maybe you just can't have it both ways. Also it would help if it actually had something to say, some kind of stance or viewpoint other than, "isn't this so charming and magical?" But it doesn't. Not really.

Servo updated his STATUS: over 4 years ago

Round 2 tonight
RandomK1NG at 02:52 PM Jan 01

That's bad ass! The movie and the gif

Servo updated his STATUS: over 4 years ago

Did anyone happen to catch Holy Motors? All of my favorite critics are raving about it, saying it was the best of 2012. And since I live in Who Gives A Fuck, Florida it passed over me. It sounds amazingly bizarre and intriguing.
cerealkiller182 at 04:19 PM Dec 31

yea I dug it. Bizarre and intriguing for sure

RandomK1NG at 05:01 PM Dec 31

It's one big pile of weird. I didn't love it or hate it.

Servo updated his STATUS: over 4 years ago

I'm not sure who it was that convinced me to not see John Carter in theaters, but they better pray I don't remember. This movie is really cool and I totally regret not having the full cinematic experience.
JohnLocke2342 at 03:46 PM Dec 31

Yeah I wasn't too much of a fan either.. glad you dug it, though

Cochise at 04:28 PM Dec 31

I regret downloading it for free, what a mess

randychico at 05:06 PM Dec 31

Well it wasn't me... I thought it was a fun surprise :)

Read all 7 comments >>

Servo updated his STATUS: over 4 years ago

Nite Owl
Nite Owl at 10:46 PM Dec 25

Servo updated his STATUS: over 4 years ago

Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills? Yeah. I watched it. Don't give a fuck either.
Derek237 at 10:08 PM Dec 22

That sounds sexy where can I find a copy?

klinteastwood at 03:22 AM Dec 23

ha, i used to watch that too..basically a power rangers ripoff on the usa network..i liked it as a kid though

Servo updated his STATUS: almost 5 years ago

Looking forward to a Michael Bay movie, new world
Servo updated his STATUS: almost 5 years ago

Nick from New Girl = ME
Derek237 at 04:24 PM Dec 15


Derek237 at 04:25 PM Dec 15


And I'm totally with you on Nick, he's the most relatable character and he MAKES the show. Jake Johnson is a great comedic actor too, in fact the main reason I got into New Girl is because I liked him in Safety Not Guaranteed so much.

randychico at 08:58 PM Dec 15

I think I'm a combination of Nick and Jess

Read all 5 comments >>

Servo updated his STATUS: almost 5 years ago

I have no fucking clue about what's going on in the trailers for Shane Carruth's Upstream Color but I am sooo there. Also: everyone see Primer
Servo at 08:32 AM Dec 15

Oh y'know the usual, recovering from a hangover

Derek237 at 08:43 AM Dec 15

randychico at 09:20 PM Dec 15

"Shane Carruth's Upstream Color" I don't know what you just said... but I liked Primer so...

Read all 4 comments >>

Servo updated his STATUS: almost 5 years ago

So I'm watching Jaws 2 and it suddenly occurs to me...this is a slasher movie. Hear me out guys. The shark stalks a group of teenagers, (all of whom represent the usual slasher victim cliches), it has a disfigured face, and doesn't leave any witnesses.
YoshioKun13 at 09:19 PM Nov 30

You're not the 1st I've seen to suggest this notion...

Derek237 at 11:43 PM Nov 30

I wish they went with SNL's route and had the shark going door to door victimizing housewives.

Servo updated his STATUS: almost 5 years ago

So I'm still without a computer, and MFC is difficult to navigate via iPhone. So if any of you wanna connect and stuff follow me on twitter @thatjpjones
cerealkiller182 at 04:03 PM Nov 29

yea it is a pain on the iphone

JFernandes at 09:47 PM Nov 29


Laksmikanti at 11:34 AM Nov 30

my iphone is not getting into twitter, get wassup application yo!

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