I got to meet one of my favorite artists today! He has some awesome fan art, so I thought I'd share ;)
This is one of my favorites. I got this as a Christmas present last year,
"Boo's Escort" (TKAM)
Hate OSC, but still love Ender <3
"Ender" (Ender's Game)
Hubby bought this print today!
"Spare Parts" (Star Wars)
Bought this one today too!
"The Usual Suspects" (JTR, Sweeney Todd, Alex, Edgar)
"Bad Company" (Gremlins)
Husband got this adorable Buffy/Sesame Street mash-up
"Sunnydale" (Buffy, Sesame Street)
This was a little sad, so we passed.
Got this too! (My husband owed me some art)
"Priori Incantatem" (Harry Fucking Potter)
"Splendor of the Narwhalicorn"
Howl (more like Gilderoy, amirite?)
Ichigo, looking pressed as hell.
Death Note squirrelfriends
With the onslaught of flimsy storylines based on board games, tired comics, desperate re-makes and the inane dreams of bored housewives living vicariously through their MarySue YA counterparts, I've decided to do some research.
We, as humans have an incredible history, and I'm not talking about what you learned in high school. I'm taking about the less-than-well-known events that get glazed over in textbooks. The stranger-than-fiction stories that you only might come across in a Cracked article or via a late-night link-clicking marathon on Wikipedia.
It's not to say that there aren't some INCREDIBLE novels out there just begging to be adapted (*cough*anydiscworldbookever*cough*), because there are. But that's been talked about, and talked about, and talked about.
I'm presenting true stories, that given the right treatment, cast, and of course artistic license, would be pretty compelling films. (In my humble opinion, of course.)
So, for my first installment, I present the story of (and some artistic suggestions for) the missing and stolen Goodwill moon rocks.
(Just go with me, son.)
The Nixon Administration gifted over 270 moon rocks from the Apollo 11 and 17 lunar missions to different nations as symbols of goodwill. Over half are missing. Their fates unknown but assumed to be stolen, accidentally destroyed, or simply misplaced. (Right? Its a goddamn moon rock, its not like you can go walk and pick more. Lock that shit up.)
In 1998, a government sting known as Operation Lunar Eclipse was started to target those who were selling counterfeit rocks. This operation was led by NASA Senior Special Agent, Joseph Guntheiz. (Ladies and gentlemen, our protagonist.)
After his involvement with Operation Lunar Eclipse, Guntheiz taught criminal justice at the University of Phoenix. It was there, in 2002 that he challenged his grad students to recover the remaining missing moon rocks. Since then, his students have discovered that additional rocks were also missing. His students also uncovered the fate of several moon rocks, like the one hidden in the ceremonial Governor’s Office of Oregon. Or the North Carolina moon rock which was discovered in a desk drawer at the state commerce department.
There are some other notable ends to moon rocks such as the Apollo 17 moon rock gifted to Ireland which was dumped in a landfill. The bloody fate of the Romanian moon rock, sold off before the country's leader was executed by firing squad for the crime of genocide.
For me, this screams Wes Anderson. A quirky, busy movie with on-screen text and dry narration. A montage of the fates of the rocks, the eager grad students lined up in Guntheiz's office like the Tenenbaum siblings. A running meter in the corner of the screen as each moon rock is found or determined to be destroyed.
Alternately, make the moon rocks be some occult artifact that time-traveling Nazis need for some kind of magic tea, I don't know. The fact is, that people love a treasure hunt, they love the moon, and I think they like counting things off, it makes them feel accomplished.
It could be hilarious and compelling in the right hands. I mean, it's better than a Chutes and Ladders movie, or whatever the fuck is in the works right now.
If you guys like this idea, I'll post one next week about the fascinating life of Percival Lowell and how it would be pretty awesome if there actually were Martians building canals on Mars. The cosplay opportunities alone...
It's Monday betches, and you know what that means. You're angry and irritable, youre gonna drink too much coffee and have diarrhea and,
STAR WARS RECIPE time!!!!!!!!
Ok so I've never made this, due to my kid's lactose intolerance, and having some dirty hippie friends who refuse to eat Kit Kats cause of like, endangered ear ticks or some shit. BUT, they look bomb-ass.
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
2 tablespoons chopped peanuts ( I bet you could do candied walnuts or something though, if you goin be fancy)
1 Kit Kat candy bar (if youre in Japan, youre gonna have a goddamn field day)
Let's Do this
1. Line a baking sheet with waxed paper
2. Put the chocolate chips in a small, heavy saucepan. Melt those bitches.
3. Peel the banana (you can do it) and cut into four even pieces.
4. Place the nuts in a small bowl. Break the Kit Kat bar into four. Cut each piece in half.
5. Dip one banana piece in the melted white chocolate. Dip the topside of the banana into the nuts.
6. Place the nanner nut side up on the baking sheet and press 2 Kit Kat pieces on either side of the banana.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 for each treat. (figure it out, Morimoto)
8. Place the treats on the baking sheet into the freezer (or outside if you live on Hoth) until the chocolate is hardened.
9. Fucking eat those droids!
Edit: I stole this picture off the internet, Id never have a goddamn plaid tablecloth
Thanks to the support of several special MFCers, Ive decided to have a contest!
1st place winner:
Receives a handmade craft inspired by or representing the movie of their choice. It can be an amigurumi (those little crocheted dolls I make), a magnet set (of 4), a matchbox shrine (see my images for examples), or a bottlecap necklace or keychain. YOUR CHOICE.
2nd place winner:
Receives a handmade craft of MY choice. Again, can be anything I've said above I decide to make, or possibly have already crafted and am looking for a home for.
3rd and 4th place winners:
HOW TO ENTER:
Just comment here. That's it. No tweeting or reblogging or other bullshit. It's completely objective, I will RANDOMLY pick the winners and announce them Friday afternoon.
ANYONE CAN ENTER
Any Schmoe can enter, I dont care if you live on the Moon. I have a TARDIS.
EDIT: Winners will be announced on next week's GEEK CHICKS podcast
Today's recipe again comes from The Star Wars Cookbook. (The first one. The second one sucks buffalo foreskin.)
INGREDIENTS (Cause Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration says you cant make dick without 'em.)
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour ( I use organic cause Im a dirty dirty hippie)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (Get some good stuff from your local spice company or farmer's market. Or dont, whatever, I cant live your life for you, Jethro.)
1 cup unsalted butter room temperature
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 granulated sugar (If you dont like dead animals in your cookies, use organic. Fuck it, just smoke some weed.)
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract (or, like your mom says it "BAHNEELA)
1 cup milk chocolate chips
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1. Preheat the oven to 375 (Fahrenheit, Wolfgang)
2.Put the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a mixing bowl and stir that shit up.
3. Put the butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar in another mixing bowl. (OH DEAR GOD I HOPE YOU HAVE TWO) Mix that shit up real good till its all creamy. Yeah, like that. Now rub your nipples. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Add the flour mixture and stir. Throw in those chocolate chips, baby.
4. Scoop up a rounded tablespoon of the dough and drop onto a baking sheet. Repeat until you have used all the dough. Leave 1 inch between the cookies, we dont want any sad Siamese cookie situations.
5. Bake for about 10 minutes or until golden Wookiee brown.
6. Lift with spatula and let cool.
7. Get some motherfucking milk for those puppies.
(warning: I get a little serious here)
First off, before I go into this, Id like to state that "proud" is not a word I associate with patriotism. To me, "proud" is something you feel when your child reads better than his classmates because you read to him every day. "Proud" is how you should feel after reaching a goal, not being born in a country, something you had nothing to do with. For more on this, you can read yourself some George Carlin. However, the word I do associate with living here is "grateful". Yes, we have our problems, our shames and laughing stocks, but I will always be grateful that we are awarded the rights and liberties that we are. This includes freedom of speech (and no, freedom of speech doesn't apply to your comments on tumblr, I'm talking about the Constitution and what it actually says) and freedom of religion. I personally abhor organized religion, but feel strongly about the rights of others being able to practice what they believe without harassment or persecution. Yes, this includes Fred Phelps, even though I wish he would fall into the goddamn Sarlaac pit.
That being said, I'm not here to argue religion or politics. I'm not here to say that Orson Scott Card isn't free to believe what he wants or what his church influences him to believe. Knock yourself out man, this is America. My issue comes in a disconnect I fail to reconcile between the man and his book.
In 1985, Orson Scott Card published Ender's Game, with Speaker for the Dead to follow. It was a fucking phenomenon amongst the science fiction community. Every nerd I ever met had it on their bookshelf. Our first hurricane together, my future husband read it next to me while I read Lolita by candlelight. It's a staple in the nerd-geek arsenal. And it should be. I finally read it a few years ago and its fucking amazing. It's gripping and haunting, something you seriously cannot put down and cant stop daydreaming about. Speaker for the Dead is just as addicting and is everything you want in redemption of a sequel.
A few months back, when Niki and I were still doing Nerdie Girls, we did a show about the rumors of a Ender's Game movie (suggested by one of our amazing fans, Ross). After some research into the movie, I decided to look up what Orson Scott Card felt. I didn't find that. What I did find made me sick to my stomach.
You have to understand that these books (with the exception of Xenocide and Children of the Mind, which I thought were a little...dogmatic) really spoke to me. Not since the Harry Potter series or To Kill A Mockingbird had anything inspired me to create. There are several Ender's Game pieces I've done on my own walls and the art of other's inspired by Ender's Game that I own. I was planning an Ender's Game tattoo.
Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down.
In case you cant tell, Mr Card is willing to start some kind of bloody coup because of gay marriage.
That's right. The woes of our brothers and sisters in Egypt are laughable compared to the threat of gay marriage.
Here's another:If America becomes a place where our children are taken from us by law and forced to attend schools where they are taught that cohabitation is as good as marriage, that motherhood doesn't require a husband or father, and that homosexuality is as valid a choice as heterosexuality for their future lives, then why in the world should married people continue to accept the authority of such a government?
Yes, Mr Card, because in the Bible, there were notaries and marriage licenses to authenticate the marriage of men and their five or six under-aged wives. (Again, I'm not attacking religion here, but I did study Hebrew Bible for years and yes, this is in the Old Testament) Oh and Mr. Card, what would you tell the widows of the world? That they should repent for having dead husbands? All the single mothers in the world should ask for forgiveness for raising their children? Matthew Shepard should have made a better CHOICE in being beaten to death?
Mr Card, you are free to make your own choices and adhere to your own beliefs. My issue is that you wrote the most anti-xenophobic book there is. The strongest themes in the Ender series are that of acceptance. In both Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead, we are taught not to judge a book by it's cover. That every species, every person, is valid and worthy of respect, no matter how different they are. The Queen was just trying to protect her children. The Piggies were just trying to protect their ancestors and way of life. Dismissing those who are different is how we end ourselves.
How can you write these awe-inspiring, heart-wrenching stories and then turn around and say such hateful things about people you just don't understand? Are you that good at fiction? Do you really just write for a paycheck and feel nothing towards what you write? Or do you just not see the hypocrisy?
I see it, and it breaks my heart. Regardless of your thoughts on gay marriage, Mr Card's words are hateful and sound like those of the narrow-minded antagonists of his novels. Novels that reminded me to always give my fellow man the benefit of the doubt.
I now have very mixed feelings about seeing this movie if it is indeed made. Logistics aside (how the hell are they going to do that Battle Room without people barfing?) how do I give this man any more of my money? Is it worth it? Do I just wait until it's on tv one day and tell myself it's ok that way? Am I making a huge deal out of nothing, considering our country allows even those I disagree with the right to say and practice what they feel? Am I undermining my own rights to disagree and boycott bigotry?
I can always go back to reading Ender's Game and getting lost in that world. I can always find comfort in Valentine, the voice of reason. But there will always be a little voice, a little Jane, telling me the truth. "It's all fiction". Only this time, she wont just mean the storyline.
So, on a recent episode of Geek Chicks, I was asked for this recipe, and totally forgot. So, here you go. If you guys are down, Ill post more Star Wars recipes once a week or whatever.
This is Yoda Sodas from the Star Wars cookbook: Wookiee Cookies
3 Tbsp sugar (you can use agave if you're doing the hippie thing)
1 cup Sprite (the book says sparkling water, but that's fucking gross)
1 Scoop lime sherbert or sorbet
Half the limes and juice each half into a measuring cup until you have 1/4 cup juice. (Or just eyeball it man, you're a big boy)
Mix the sugar and lime juice together in a pitcher until sugar's dissolved.
Add Sprite. (fuck yeah, bubbles!)
Pour into individual cups.
Add scoops of sherbert to get that frothy Degobah look.
Im sure you can booze it up somehow, but this version is for the kids. Get them all hopped up on sugar and then bring 'em to church!
(Why isnt "tired" a mood option?)