The Woman in Black

Invidtus at 12:19 PM Dec 09

that picture ahaha-

Anakin at 01:37 PM Dec 09

I thought the story was very good, but sadly what also should have been good but wasn't was the scares. The usual jump scare (CRANK THE SOUNDTRACK AS HIGH AS POSSIBLE) shite.

Magic Mike

Anakin at 10:46 AM Dec 09

You're reviews are so boss, lol! I wanna see Magic Mike. I didn't know that about the leading gal. I heard Munn is in this though? I like her. She's boss.

For A Good Time, Call...

RagingFellaDriver16 at 09:01 AM Dec 04

My girlfriend has been begging me to watch it, you just gave her admission.lol I planned on checking it out. I like Ari Graynor as well

PSUDelVec at 11:37 AM Dec 04

I saw it and definitely agree. A harmless, charming time-waster.

XSsoCX at 04:04 PM Dec 04

Good review, maybe I'll finally check it out.

Thought of my boy wallcrawler when I found this

Weapon X at 07:27 PM Dec 03

Awesome at the start, genius at the end.

horrorfan23 at 09:24 PM Dec 03

Add this for Daft Punk's new album

Heero at 04:29 AM Dec 04

lol terrific

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Wreck-It Ralph

grelber37 at 03:56 PM Dec 03

You might have just convinced me to see Wreck-It Ralph sometime. You write a good review.

Psycho-Pirate-99 at 04:14 PM Dec 03

Thanks bud! I definitely think you should check it out

Prometheus

sLaShEr84 at 12:51 PM Dec 03

I want to see this movie.

bowserman58 at 03:39 PM Dec 03

Nice review, I really like this movie because of the visuals and the ideas even though they didn't come together in the smoothest way possible. One of my favorites of this year though.

TheChanges23 at 06:55 PM Dec 03

I was wondering when you were going to weigh in on this. Glad to see what your perspective was on the whole thing man. I have to admit that since I reviewed this film I have been still mulling it over and I believe I'm still on the fence. So many fantastic aspects of this film are cool to dive into but there's still so much I didnt care for and its hard to let any of that go for the grand viewing experience. I don't know. Just. don't. know. But a Great review nonetheless Pirate!

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BAD MOVIES vs. BAD MOVIES

My wife and I got into this discussion last night after watching Battleship. I couldn’t stand this movie. There were several times that I wanted to turn it off and couldn’t help but harshly criticize every single scene. I just hated it so much. And my wife was quite shocked at just how much I hated it, hitting me with….”Compared to all that stupid shit you watch, I didn’t think it was that bad."

She’s right. I do watch a lot of stupid shit. I love bad movies. Movies that miss the mark so much that you can’t help but enjoy yourself. Movies with such ridiculous premises and such awful dialogue that I’m sure it is hard to conceive any type of pattern. I think it’s the barrier that these movies immediately break that I find so appealing. You put in a critically acclaimed masterpiece like *insert personal favorite masterpiece here* and you sit through the whole thing with a magnifying glass, desperately seeking its flaws.

But with these bad movies, it’s the flaws that run the show. You know that shit stinks and you’re simply there for the entertainment and to have fun with its problems. Movies like Frankenhooker and Killer Klowns from Outer Space are some of my absolute favorites. On a technical level, they’re much worse productions than most of the big-budget blockbusters that I bash. But on the other hand, I enjoy these movies so much more.

I think one thing that has a lot to do with it is the camp. These older bad movies have a certain way of delivering these asinine lines that strikes me so hilarious. You can see these actors obviously trying their best in their performances, and it’s so unconvincing that you can’t help but laugh. Same for the effects. There’s no comparing the dated effects of The Brain that Wouldn’t Die to a CGI Optimus Prime. But oddly enough, I prefer Brain’s crude prosthetics.

Look at the modern day bad movies like Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun, two brilliant throwbacks to the trashy exploitation era of the 70’s. These are two movies that know they’re bad. They know they’re not being taken seriously. The horrible nature of the acting and dialogue is intended. Yet, the subtle wit and apparent homage just goes to show how much more respect and passion these directors have for the art of cinema.

Machete and Hobo would not fall into the same category as the shit that Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich churn out, because those dumbshits actually do believe they’re making good movies. These are the kind of men who are ruining cinema in my opinion. Their main priority is loud noises, the flashy effects and hosting a popular cast, without a single shred of creativity or artistic expression. And what’s even worse is that this is becoming the standard for what mass audiences claim to be “good movies” Which is just fucking sad.

So, believe it or not, there are different kinds of bad movies. Know what I mean?

Mood: Angry

MonsterZeroNJ at 02:10 PM Nov 28

AWESOME BLOG!!! WELL SAID!...ok, I'll stop yelling now...

DropDeadFred at 02:12 PM Nov 28

Same here! My wife couldn't understand why I didn't like it as much as she did...I also think if movies are bad, but using practical effects are justified. At least they tried. Bad movies that have a huge effects budget and heavy CG and still pull off barely passable crap have no excuse at all...

TheChanges23 at 12:36 PM Dec 02

Oh definitely Pirate. There are plenty of bad movies I like, while other bad movies are just abominations unleashed upon society. While I supremely believe that explotation should be a normal genre in cinema resurfaced, its sporadic installments remind us that "bad" is, in its own way, a form of cinema to be explored just as much as any other. Which is why "Grindhouse" was so incredible, with "Hobo" and "Machete" trailing.

Oh and Battleship still puts a bad itch in my fuckin ass something fierce. Hate that damn movie with a fire of a thousand nuclear blasts. Excellent Blog dude!