Bram Stoker's Dracula

Let me first say that Gary Oldman made one hell of an awesome Count Dracula. Lee is will always be my favorite, and you can't top Legosi, but Oldman's still kicks ass. The guy makes a great vampire, holding his intimidation even when his hair makes him look like he has boobies on his head. He made it his own and once again disappeared into the role to the point where you might forget it's even him.

I'm sure the magnificent makeup effects applied to him didn't hurt either. Some decent effects indeed. Especially during that trippy-ass fangbang and that freaky looking double-upper body chick. And the Dracula Bat Monster looked pretty wicked. But what makes this movie almost impossible to tolerate is the mindblowing miscasting of both Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder.

Reeves accent goes in and out like kid going through puberty, and his just looks like a dumb dick with his lost, empty stares and his Aladdin haircut. And I've always thought Ryder was a shitty actress. She does even worse than Reeves with the accent and rings so untrue that it sounds like she's reading from cue cards. But what's the worst is when they share scenes together. It's like watching two wooden chairs play off of each other. I mean I've seen better chemistry in that Twilight bullshit.

But it isn't entirely their fault. Overall I just thought the movie was pretty boring. It seemed to want to push the sappy love angle a little too much for my taste maybe and I just kind of lost interest in the story and the characters. Pretty much just poor writing.

BOTTOM LINE: It was ok. Wasn't terrible, but not anything I have any desire to ever watch again. A bit boring, a bit overlong maybe. But I did enjoy the effects and the atmosphere that Coppola created, and Oldman rocked as Dracula. And one can't forget to mention Monica Bellucci and her fine work in the film. That's one thing that is not to be missed!