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May 2013
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Fan of 20 items > See all
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The Terror of Tiny Town
#1 Movie of All-Time
The Passion of the Christ
#1 Comedy
The Killer
#1 Action
The Empire Strikes Back
#1 Sci-Fi
A Nightmare on Elm Street
#1 Horror
Casablanca
#1 Romance
A Town Called Panic
#1 Stoner
Spirited Away
#1 Animated
Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory
#1 Fantasy
How To Steal A Million
#1 Romantic Comedy
Brian Cox
#1 Actor
Naomi Watts
#1 Actress
Takashi Miike
#1 Director
Olga Kurylenko
#1 Hottie
Sean Bateman
#1 Movie Character
... View the rest.
Psycho-Pirate-99
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Happy Birthday to Lisa Ann and Rosario! It's my boss' birthday too, but fuck him.
TOTAL POSTS
11,589 Posts
KING Of All Schmoes
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Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters



Hansel-and-gretel-imax-post

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: Paramount
Genre: Action, Comedy, Horror
Official Site:
Plot: We’ve all heard the classic tale of Hansel and Gretel. The young brother and sister who found a house made of candy, went inside and found a cannibalistic witch that they burned to death. Well have you ever wondered what happened to them after that? Well for one thing, poor Hansel got diabetes from all that candy. Oh, and now they kill witches professionally.

Review:

I thought this movie was pretty cool. I had a good time with it. You know I love my B-movies, and this concept was right up my alley. Fairy tales and firearms, dude. What isn’t cool about that? I don’t know, I mean it’s something different. It’s catching a lot of shit from critics of course because it is a stupid piece of shit movie. But you should kind of know what to expect from the title alone...[more]...

Diabeetus

Other reviews of this film: cerealkiller182 (6/10) , Pat Hatfreet (7/10) > Display all
horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 04:52 PM Mar 01

That's pretty much what I'm expect as well.

X-KID
X-KID at 06:59 PM Mar 06

I wish more films were like this.

joeyc5
joeyc5 at 07:40 AM Mar 07

brain off...check, popcorn popped...check, blood and boobies double check! great review totally agree it was some mindless fun

Read all 8 comments >>

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

* batteries not included



1987-batteries-not-included-poster1

Directed by: Matthew Robbins
Written by: Brad Bird, Matthew Robbins, Brent Maddock, S.S. Wilson
Cast: Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Frank McRae, Elizabeth Pea
Studio: Universal Pictures
Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Official Site:
Plot: Miss Daisy makes some new best friends

Review:

This movie needs more love. Produced by Spielberg and co-written by Brad Bird of Iron Giant and The Incredibles fame, it’s the story of a group of tenants that are in danger of losing their beloved apartment building to some moneybag bastard who wants to tear it down for his own profit. Greedy bastard even hired a local hang to terrorize the place to persuade them to move out.

But that’s when some unexpected help arrives, in the form of these mechanical critters from another planet. They feed on the electricity of the building, and in exchange they try to help the tenants keep their home. But it isn’t just how the robots aid these people in their pending eviction that is makes this so special, it’s mainly how they change the lives of each particular tenant.

BOTTOM LINE: It’s a harmless, heartfelt flick that charmed my socks off, tickled me with its effects and just left me with a rich feeling of happiness. It has its corn, of course. But its goal is merely to warm the heart, and it does. If you’re looking for a little lighthearted entertainment, I highly recommend you seek this one out.

Batteries

XSsoCX
XSsoCX at 10:02 AM Feb 28

I haven't seen this since my childhood but I remember loving it. This needs to be released on bluray, so I can revisit it. :)

MrsData
MrsData at 11:07 AM Feb 28

I'm definitely going to check this one out.

razgriz21
razgriz21 at 03:57 PM Feb 28

Cute movie.

Read all 4 comments >>

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

Silver Linings Playbook



Silverliningsplay1s

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: The Weinstein Company
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Official Site:
Plot: Love is cray cray

Review:

David O. Russell shares Alexander Payne’s brilliance in how they can so elegantly mix sorrow with laughter. Refining those conventionally uncomfortable moments into humorous ones and making light of serious situations. Here, he forms a romantic dramedy around mental illness. It's as hilarious as it is sweet, and for a guy like me, a dark comedy with a romantic twist is like a dream come true...[more]...

Silver_linings_playbook

Other reviews of this film: Strider (8/10) , draven_ftw (8/10) > Display all
Strider
Strider at 02:55 PM Feb 24

I'm glad you enjoyed the film, but I couldn't stop looking at the picture you posted of Jennifer Lawrence. Haha!

horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 09:46 PM Feb 24

Jennifer Lawrence booty shaking FTW

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

Skyfall



New-skyfall-domestic-onesheet-ppp

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: Sony Pictures
Genre: Action, Adventure
Official Site: www.jamesbond.com
Plot: first James Bond review? holy shit

Review:

Now THIS is a Bond movie, folks! It’s all here. The edge-of-your-seat action, the shaken martinis, the kickass gadgets, glamorous locations, the hotties, and the devious villain, fully equipped with a heinously humorous hairpiece. It instantly falls among my favorite of the ass kicking spy series that I’ve loved since I can remember, reminding me of where that love originated while also presenting a Bond experience in a refreshing new way...[more]...

Skyfall

Other reviews of this film: Weapon X (10/10) , bigred760 (9/10) > Display all
Glinda
Glinda at 01:41 PM Feb 24

Great review. I loved it and agree it could be my favorite as well.

horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 09:57 PM Feb 24

LOL at the picture

TheChanges23
TheChanges23 at 12:03 AM Feb 25

Glad you loved it Pirate. Skyfall will definitely become the new standard future Bond films will aspire to be. Its the best Bond Ever! Awesome review man!

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

Argo



Argo-final-poster

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: Warner Bros
Genre: Drama, Thriller
Official Site:
Plot: sorry I can't resist the urge you guys, argo fuck yourself

Review:

I'm still just not a fan of Affleck's acting, but he really does a fantastic job at directing, and I think this is his best job yet. His style is perfecting before your very eyes as the scenes go on, and I think he is a very good storyteller...[more]...

Argo

Other reviews of this film: draven_ftw (10/10) , Derek237 (10/10) > Display all
Laksmikanti
Laksmikanti at 12:12 AM Mar 01

I loved this movie, I was always in high tension. You got a point with the "pretending to shoot scenes", but I guess everything was already too risky.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

Life of Pi



Lifeofpippp

Directed by: Ang Lee
Written by: David Magee
Cast: Tobey Maguire, Suraj Sharma, Irffan Khan, Gerard Depardieu, Adil Hussain
Studio: Fox
Genre: Drama
Official Site:
Plot: Calvin and Hobbes: SHIPWRECKED

Review:

...[more]...

Life_of_pi

Other reviews of this film: KcMsterpce (10/10) , Beauski (8/10) > Display all
TheChanges23
TheChanges23 at 06:29 PM Feb 22

Loving your review as usual Pirate. I should check this out soon. Oh and funny Plot summary. ;)

Cochise
Cochise at 09:02 PM Feb 22

haha nice review man. And agreed, emotional movie. Also never thought about the C&H thing haha that's damn near perfect

Laksmikanti
Laksmikanti at 09:32 AM Feb 23

You always have a very accurate way to describe the movies, and always you find a funny part, maybe is because you are a really funny guy that when express himself we all enjoy, and smile or laugh in a really good way. Glad to be reminded by you when you saw the movie, and I had tears in also in many parts of the movie (something really unusual in me) specially in that part, not only because if the relationship between the tiger and the boy, but also, because things like that happens in real life. Great review my boy!

Read all 4 comments >>

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

The Impossible



The-impossible-spain

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: Summit Entertainment
Genre: Action, Drama
Official Site:
Plot: Naomi vs. Tsunami

Review:

I think I can honestly say that there's only about 20 or 30 minutes of this movie that I can actually say that I enjoyed, and the rest just didn't do much for me. Things start off incredibly corny with this well-to-do white family with the kind of "No I love YOU more"-type banter that couldn't be any more sickening. But then tragedy strikes, and a compelling venture of mother and son unfolds before our eyes, and it is not to be missed...[more]...

Naomi_impossible

Other reviews of this film: Hal2001 (6/10) , MattSlash (9/10) > Display all
grelber37
grelber37 at 06:11 PM Feb 11

Your comments are the absolute truth about the performances of Watts and Holland. Both actors deserve very high praise. The Impossible can be a challenging movie view. A person does not always enjoy the story as much as he appreciates it. However, the movie is well-worth seeing if human drama interests a person and if such drama is sufficient action.

horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 12:21 AM Feb 12

Completely agree with Watts and the kid. They were both fantastic.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 3 months ago

Zero Dark Thirty



Zero-dark-thirty-final

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: Annapurna Pictures
Genre: Action, Drama, War
Official Site: http://www.zerodarkthirty-movie.com/
Plot: THE HURT LOCKER: ADVANCED

Review:

May I just say that I hate that stupid title? And I'm not typically into war movies, unless there's a Star in front of it. But this would fall into the few exceptions, right beside The Hurt Locker. Bigelow showed that you didn't have to be into war flicks to enjoy her adaptations, and here we see how she has perfected her wartime form even more...[more]...

Chastain_zerodark

Other reviews of this film: Strider (8/10) , Derek237 (9/10) > Display all
horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 11:52 AM Feb 10

I loved how "down the middle" it was and how fucking well directed it is.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Lincoln



Lincoln-movie-poster

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: DreamWorks
Genre: Drama
Official Site:
Plot: Favorite new insult: Pettifogging Tammany Hall hucksters!

Review:

Yeah, it’s good. I knew it would be. I should’ve seen it earlier but could never really muster up enough excitement to go see. “What’s going down tonight? We’re going to see that new Abe Lincoln junk! WHAT!? WHAT!?” But I did finally sit down with it and I’m glad I did. It isn’t nearly as boring as I thought it would be, expecting a yawn-inducing history lesson centered around Danny Lewis’ phenomenal performance...[more]...

Joker_lincoln

Other reviews of this film: Derek237 (10/10) , Forgotten (7/10) > Display all
RagingFellaDriver16
RagingFellaDriver16 at 10:09 AM Feb 05

lol

horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 10:20 AM Feb 05

He really did have that Grandpa type personality to him that made him very endearing.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Edward Scissorhands



1990-edward-scissorhands-poster1

Directed by: Tim Burton
Written by: Caroline Thompson
Cast: Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Anthony Michael Hall
Studio: Fox
Genre: Fantasy, Drama
Official Site:
Plot: Edward had scissors for hands.

Review:

Often (and probably best) described as a Gothic fairytale, this is one flick that is hard for me not to adore. It comes to mind when reminiscing the good ol' days of Tim Burton, back to the days when you could appreciate his creativity, his originality and the magic he was able to create. It falls among my favorites of Burton's work, because like Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas (which he wrote), it feels like the most genuine form of his unique vision, imagination and inimitable style...[more]...

Scissorhands

Other reviews of this film: tbondrage99 (9/10) , horrorfan23 (9/10) > Display all
X-KID
X-KID at 07:00 PM Feb 03

All time favorite!

Cochise
Cochise at 06:11 PM Feb 04

damn good review my man, really want to catch this one again sometime!

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Total Recall



Totalrecallinternationposterlarge

Directed by: Len Wiseman
Written by: Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback, James Vanderbilt
Cast: Colin Farrell, John Cho, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bill Nighy, Bryan Cranston, Ethan Hawke, Bokeem Woodbine
Studio: Sony Pictures
Genre: Action, Science-Fiction
Official Site: www.welcometorecall.com
Plot: In the lens flare future, a company called Rekall specializes in turning dreams into reality. Colin Farrell signs up for the "secret agent" package, and gets the shaft.

Review:

...[more]...

M

Other reviews of this film: Hal2001 (5/10) , tbondrage99 (8/10) > Display all
Cochise
Cochise at 06:22 PM Jan 30

haha I can see you didn't like this one too much. I disagree though, I thought this one brought a god amount of new stuff to the table and differentiated itself from the first adaptation quite a bit. There were a few nods and similar plot points (most which were shared with the original short story so you can't really blame them) but I do wish they had cut ALL ties and ventured even further in a new direction. Still, I definitely think they changed things up. I think this one gets too much hate, and the Arnie one gets too much love. Both are good movies I think. Nice review though as always!

YoshioKun13
YoshioKun13 at 06:43 PM Jan 30

Waste of time. :/

Anakin
Anakin at 01:16 AM Jan 31

It's nothing special.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Killer Joe



Killer-joe-new-poster

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: LD Distribution
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Official Site: www.killerjoethemovie.com
Plot: Dumb hick hires a hitman to kill his mom for insurance money.

Review:

I’ve gotten to the point by now where I can usually tell which movies will be winners for my personal tastes, and Killer Joe was immediately considered based on the title alone. I love stories about hitmen. I know my sense of humor is pretty fucked up, and I’m a BIG fan of a very VERY naked Juno Temple. This movie looks like a shoe in, and in no one’s fault but my own I may have set my standards a little too high, because I was sorely disappointed with this...[more]...

Juno_temple_killer_joe

Other reviews of this film: darqjade (9/10) , darqjade (9/10) > Display all
OldKingClancy
OldKingClancy at 10:49 AM Jan 30

I liked this film but you made it clear why you didn't as much I did so congrats on that. And I agree, naked Juno Temple is VERY nice.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

The Perks of Being a Wallflower



Perks-wallflower-poster

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: Summit Entertainment
Genre: Adventure
Official Site:
Plot: -"Welcome to the Island of Misfit toys...."

Review:

Wow! This was NOTHING like I thought it was going to be. I had no interest in this movie whatsoever, under the impression that it was another run-of-the-mill high school cornball comedies full of juvenile humor, and man was I wrong. This is the kind of high school movie worthy of joining the John Hughes collection, matching heart with humor in a way that I wasn't ready for, and packed a much more powerful punch than I would have ever expected...[more]...

Perks_of_being_a_wallflower

Other reviews of this film: Terror Australis (10/10) , cerealkiller182 (9/10) > Display all
cerealkiller182
cerealkiller182 at 04:37 PM Jan 13

great review, I like the almost famous reference.

horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 07:15 PM Jan 13

Fantastic movie

Cochise
Cochise at 08:56 PM Jan 13

Nice review. I have to see this asap.. I wasnt interested at all until the trailer which looked a lot different than I expected

Read all 5 comments >>

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Seven Psychopaths



Seven-psychopaths-poster1

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio: CBS Films
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Official Site:
Plot: An alcoholic screenwriter has trouble completing his new story about seven psychopaths, until he finds himself surrounded by them.

Review:

Based off the cast, the director and especially the title, I knew I'd love this movie from the start. And I did. Absolutely loved it. Martin McDonagh and I seem to share the same sense of dark humor because I couldn't stop laughing...[more]...

Olga_7_psychopaths

Other reviews of this film: Servo (10/10) , Derek237 (8/10) > Display all
horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 11:42 AM Jan 13

Rockwell's description of the movie's ending killed me

Pat Hatfreet
Pat Hatfreet at 12:39 PM Jan 13

Good review! I also loved this movie! It was a blast!

Cochise
Cochise at 08:58 PM Jan 13

Fantastic review for a fantastic movie

Read all 4 comments >>

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Living in Oblivion



1995-living-in-oblivion-poster1

Directed by: Tom DiCillo
Written by: Tom DiCillo
Cast: Steve Buscemi, Catherine Keener, Dermot Mulroney, Danielle von Zerneck
Studio: Sony Classics
Genre: Comedy
Official Site:
Plot: Steve Buscemi tries to make a movie.

Review:

This is an absolute MUST SEE for anyone out there that has worked on a movie set, wanted to work on a movie set, or anyone with a general interest in what exactly happens on a movie set. It probably seems like a dream job to direct your own picture, but what we see here is the nightmare of the process as it takes a humorous look at just a few of the many things that can go wrong...[more]...

Living_in_oblivion_2

Cochise
Cochise at 10:50 AM Jan 13

been wanting to see this for a while, nice review!

Pat Hatfreet
Pat Hatfreet at 12:48 PM Jan 13

I need to see this too! I do work on tv sets, and it can be very crazy at times.

Glinda
Glinda at 02:22 PM Jan 13

Looks like a fun movie. Thanks for the great review!

Read all 4 comments >>

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Of Unknown Origin



1983-of-unknown-origin-poster2

Directed by: George P. Cosmatos
Written by: Brian Taggert
Cast: Peter Weller, Jennifer Dale, Lawrence Dane, Kenneth Welsh
Studio: Warner Bros.
Genre: Horror
Official Site:
Plot: Robocop vs. Rat

Review:

Peter Weller plays a well-to-do businessman whose wife and kid have just left for a vacation with the grandparents, leaving the house to himself. But it turns out he isn't alone after all, as he begins to find traces of a rodent in his house...[more]...

Of_unknown_origin

cerealkiller182
cerealkiller182 at 06:39 PM Jan 12

Home Alone where Robocop is Kevin and the rats are the thieves?

I see you reference Mouse Hunt. If its a sick Mouse Hunt I want to see it

Psycho-Pirate-99
Psycho-Pirate-99 at 07:09 PM Jan 12

haha Perfect similarity, and yeah man you should definitely check it out!

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

The Dark Backward



1991-the-dark-backward-poster1

Directed by: Adam Rifkin
Written by: Adam Rifkin
Cast: Judd Nelson, Bill Paxton, Wayne Newton, Lara Flynn Boyle
Studio: Greycat
Genre: Comedy
Official Site:
Plot: A struggling stand up comic grows an extra arm out of his back.

Review:

...[more]...

Dark_backward

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 5 months ago

Ted



Ted-post-2

Directed by: Seth McFarlane
Written by: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel McHale, Seth MacFarlane
Studio: Universal Pictures
Genre: Comedy
Official Site: www.tedisreal.com
Plot: Peter Griffin turns into a Teddy Bear

Review:

I’m not a big fan of Seth MacFarlane. I used to be, I used to love Family Guy. But I lost interest in his brand of humor after a while, and I pretty much just can’t stand that show now. But I did enjoy this movie for the most part, got some good laughs from it. At least it’s something kind of unique, something different. A crude talking, bong smoking, dry humping teddy bear. I just think that’s cool...[more]...

Mila_ted

Other reviews of this film: Strider (8/10) , Derek237 (6/10) > Display all
X-KID
X-KID at 09:59 AM Jan 09

it played just like a Family Guy episode, I really dug it.

YoshioKun13
YoshioKun13 at 10:05 PM Jan 09

You may have given the movie a 6, but that photo is nothing less than 10/10! :o

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 5 months ago

Beasts of the Southern Wild



Beastsofthesouthernwild_small

Directed by: -1
Written by:
Cast:
Studio:
Genre: Adventure, Drama, Family, Independent
Official Site:
Plot: Someone call Child Services!

Review:

There is a lot of beauty in this movie. Not in just the visuals, but the meaning. You have this island, cut off from the rest of the world, in a town full of stubborn alcoholics that have too much pride to reason with fact that they're all on the verge of being completely washed out. This place looks like a post-apocalyptic dystopia. They call the place "The Bathtub", but clearly should've been called "The Toilet...[more]...

Southern_wild

Other reviews of this film: cerealkiller182 (10/10) , MattSlash (7/10) > Display all
thatswhatshesaid
thatswhatshesaid at 05:22 PM Jan 06

Nice review ! I want to see this now!

Cochise
Cochise at 07:06 PM Jan 06

well too bad you didn't love it like the cool kids, but at least you liked it =p nice review as always man!

Terminal_83
Terminal_83 at 08:36 PM Jan 06

Great film. Loved it.

Psycho-Pirate-99 posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 5 months ago

Looper



Looper-first-poster

Directed by: Rian Johnson
Written by: Rian Johnson
Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, Noah Segan, Jeff Daniels, Piper Perabo, Xu Qing
Studio:
Genre: Action, Science-Fiction, Thriller
Official Site:
Plot: JoGo wears a Bruce Willis mask and works as a hitman for the mobsters of Tomorrowland, who send their targets back in time to be blown away. It's a great job, until his future self is the one sent for him to kill.

Review:

...[more]...

Piper_looper

Other reviews of this film: Servo (10/10) , Derek237 (6/10) > Display all
Cochise
Cochise at 02:30 PM Jan 06

Absolutely loved it over here, but I did find it very refreshing and unique, which is odd because I thought the same thing as you -- Terminator. haha. But even still. Nice review!

TheChanges23
TheChanges23 at 03:59 PM Jan 06

Science fiction at its finest. Cool Review Pirate!

horrorfan23
horrorfan23 at 07:18 PM Jan 06

A perfect mixture of sci-fi, action, and even a little horror.

Read all 7 comments >>

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