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10. The Accountant
Now, my number ten movie on this list isn’t one that I hated, but in my eyes, was a blown opportunity. No matter what people say, I think that Affleck is a good actor. Is he as good as his brother Casey? No, but Ben is definitely a better director. It is through his recent string of hits behind the scenes, that you can see how hard he works to make Christian work. The role is an actor’s dream and Ben definitely does do a respectable job with showing Christian’s autism. Hell, he is even convincing playing the stone cold killer side of the role. Too bad that character is placed in a movie that starts off well but goes off the rails and turns into a convoluted mess. It is the very definition of a try hard movie that tries to outsmart its audience but just comes off desperate.
9. London Has Fallen
This one was an incredibly stupid movie that seemed proud of how dumb it was with each passing minute. When the original film came out, it was actually of the better of the two secret service movies that were released around the same time. Unlike “White House Down,” it perfectly mixed humor and damn good action. Plus, it effectively used the limited space of the White House where the film took place. As with any sequel, this one had a bigger canvas and it just decided to paint it with overblown action, awful effects, and Butler chewing the scenery. It is everything not to do with a sequel.
8. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Tina Fey’s wit can make any movie be better. Back in 2004, her writing made “Mean Girls” stand out as an original and hilarious take on adolescence instead of being one of a thousand typical teen movies. Unfortunately, her lack of presence as a writer is definitely felt here as this has to be one of the most mundane pictures of the year. The potential of the subject matter is briefly felt but it is more concerned with trying to both balance the drama and comedy, which it fails to do. Even the great Alferd Molina is cast as a bumbling fool, who is supposed to be a fearless dictator, but comes off as a horny teenager. The character incredibly sticks out in a negative way that feels as he belongs in another movie.
7. Ride Along 2
Kevin Hart movies either have two modes: charmingly funny or insipidly stupid. Too bad for Mr. Hart that this time it is the latter. The first “Ride Along” successfully paired of Mr. Hart with Ice Cube. The movie had the trademark energy of its main character. Of course, when a sequel gets made, the reigns are loosened and the director, writers, and stars get to do more of what they want. Usually, like in “The Dark Knight,” this is a big positive, but here it just made the movie grating, annoying, unfunny, and a overall terrible sequel.
Not only a terrible idea, but a completely forgettable movie on its own. Why on Earth would anyone remake a movie that is not only a classic but had such an epic scope to it? Unfortunately, the two hour run time cuts out all the important aspects of what would make this story stronger than it is. Yes, the race is quite impressive, but could you survive that long?
5. The Divergent Series: Allegiant
After the first movie, this thing just lost steam. Originally, it was a clever story about a society that split up its people into different jobs/factions and how one girl who is the sum of those five groups comes about to much nervousness of the higher ups. It has evolved into something so overblown and pretentious that has sucked the sense of fun out of the franchise. No one here cares, especially Shailene Woodley, who already has jumped ship on what was supposed to be the next “Hunger Games.”
The sequel, or third film, in a series that no one asked for and has completely deflated the suspense the books built beautifully. Felecity Jones, wooden as ever, has absolutely no chemistry with Hanks, or spark in her role. The religious undertones are so blatantly forced fed into your face that you will yearn for those boring Sunday school classes. Howard, who is a damn talented director, has never really understood on how to bring these novels to screen. There isn’t any suspense, only plot progression that feels very assembly line like. Hanks, Jones, and Howard are all better and deserve more than this.
3. Zoolander 2
Doesn’t Hollywood learn that these over decade old sequels never work? Outside of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2,” which was passable, but enjoyable. The original Zoolander had such a satirical wit to it that perfectly mocked everything and anything about the ridiculousness of the fashion industry. Instead of building upon those ideas, this movie just doubles down on the stupid. Stiller and Wilson just don’t have the same intensity or dedication to the roles that they did in the first one. Who can blame them? A movie like this needs a sequel right away or people will forget about it, which based on the reception and money, they did.
2. Suicide Squad
Everything that Nolan established with this universe. Every heap of praise and hope that came with Nolan’s Batman was completely destroyed in this film. The film was known to have a ton of edits and reshoots, which explains the terrible pacing this thing possesses. David Ayer brought nothing but a lot of helicopter explosions to this movie. The script is all over the place with not one redeeming moment. Cara Delevingne, I don’t know what the hell she was doing as Enchantress. I suppose she was trying to make light of the little character development or depth that she was given. The movie had the basis for one of the greatest stories and character developments ever in Harley Quinn. Instead, all that Ayer was concerned about was having Margot Robbie in short shorts. Leto’s Joker felt like he belonged in a terrible 90’s comic book movie. As far as the squad, none of them had chemistry with one another. We don’t get to see the team actually form any bond with each other, so there is nothing at stake when they take on the main villains, one who is absolutely the worst CGI creation I have seen in movies in some time. The dialogue is laughable and the action hit Michael Bay levels of stupidity. This was DC’s one opportunity to separate itself from their rival and all they did was come off as a bad knock off. Hopefully, Synder catches something with “Justice League,” but I am not holding my breath. Either way, it will be better than this steaming pile of garbage.
1. I Saw the Light
Speaking of Marvel, we all waited for Hiddleston to break out after giving us Loki. When it was announced that he would be playing famous musician, Hank Williams, the possibilities of him getting his time in the limelight and a possible awards run became possible. The film came out, and while Hiddleston is damn good as Williams, every single other part of this thing just totally cuts the legs out from his performance. The film makers had an opportunity to make a film examining who the man behind the music was, but instead they just made a film with as little life as possible. All this films shows is that Williams was an cheating alcoholic who constantly bickered with his wife. That’s it. That is the entire film. There are no insights about how the music was created. Hiddleston was given nothing to work with besides acting drunk and like the biggest dick in the world. The movies about Cash and Ray showed their negative sides, but also showed you why they were regarded as the greats. Here, we take a ride with one of the most unpleasant people in the world for two hours who really never fully redeems himself. The other 9 movies on this list are bad and terrible, but this one just takes the cake. This is the worst kind of bad film, one that was created and worked on by talented people. Also, one that wasted the talent of its main star.