1. Cat's would make weird people. Whenever my cat see's another cat outside they both immediately go into attack mode and start hissing while encircling each other without ever actually fighting. That's like if I were walking down the street and saw another Dude, then both of us went into Kung Fu poses and just stood there screaming at each other for 45 minutes. Then licked our butts and walked away.
2. To whomever coined the phrase "Never trust a fart," my pants are off to you my friend. You've prevented many a disaster on my end.
3. You know if Aliens, Robots or Subterranean Lava Men want to take over the world they can have it, I wont put up a fight. I'm sure if they really want it that badly they probably have much better plans for it than humans do.
4. I'm convinced that the people funding Kathrine Heigl moves must be running a money laundering scheme or something. There has to be a logical reason that she is still headlining movies.
5. Never trust a skinny barber, or a bald chef. Wait, I mean never trust a fat barber, or a hairy chef. Yeah, I think that's it. Moving on.
6. I'm betting Merle Streep's farts could really steam the pleats out of a pair sensible, yet stylish slacks. She just looks like the kind of hearty broad that can bombard a seat cushion into signing a peace treaty.
7. I wonder if ALF ever banged a dog while on Earth? You know his ships broken so he can't go home to Melmac, and his species kind of look like dogs and like to chase cats. I don't think it to far fetched so to speak that he probably lured the neighbors poodle into the garage on more than one occasion and shagged it like a Melmacian stripper behind the dumpster between sets at "The Anal Probe Club."
8. I want a robot designed to do nothing but bring me sandwiches. I don't care where he gets them from, don't bother me with the details. Just go out into that great big world and periodically return with some sandwiches in tow. Get on that, science. Why do you think I pay taxes if not for sandwich questing robots?
9. How come when their in robot form the Transformers can beat the crap out each other, smashing and crashing, but when they transform back into cars they don't have one scratch or dent on them?
10. I think I should buy a tape recorder to document my farts. I had a strange succession of farts yesterday that gave me cause for concern. If I record them I could just play it back for my Doctor instead of trying to recreate them for him in his office. I wonder if this is covered by my insurance?