2009 Film Journal
I'll guess we'll start from the bottom up here on what I've seen this year:
50.Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen- 27/100
I was shocked when I found myself excited by the trailer to Michael Bay's lame brain mash up of Small Soldiers and Independence Day. I was even more shocked that he managed to get my hopes up a second time to destroy them even further with the sequel.
It was a hard choice between G.I. Joe and Transformers 2 for worst film of the year, but at least Joe knows its stupid. Both films are brainless, sleazy and explosive; kind of like a high school cheerleader. The difference is that G.I. Joe plays on the fact that its stupid and easy, while Transformers tries portray itself as deep and meaningful.
49.G.I. Joe- 31/100
I think the last time I felt this insulted by a bad action film was S.W.A.T. Just prey that there isn't a sequel.
48.The Proposal- 32/100
2009 was Sandra Bullock's comeback year, but I still don't see the "charm" everyone else does with this actress. She's obnoxiously un-subtle in all of her "comedic" roles and just too much of a phony to take seriously in a dramatic one.
Ryan Reynolds is a good male counterpart for Bullock because he too is so mind numbingly arrogant and dry with his delivery. Watching this for an hour and a half, I felt like Willem Dafoe in Anti-Christ. The old lady made me chuckle once though.
47.The Final Destination- 35/100
Even as a horror obsessed teenager, I didn't really see the need for more Final Destination films. But as it turned out the first sequel wasn't all that bad, in a sort of tongue in cheek kind of way.
This is where the bottom drops out of the FD franchise. You know that the well is running dry when you're death scenes include watching a NASCAR event, going through a car wash, or riding the escalator...IN 3D!
46.The Stepfather- 37/100
I haven't seen the original, but I doubt it could even be close to as bad as this was. PG-13 horror films DO NOT WORK. Just because Disturbia rode the charisma of Shia LeBeouff past the teenage audiences who think Rear Window is some kind of after hours cinemax program, doesn't mean you can do it again.
45.Friday the 13th- 45/100
This was another case where I felt lured in despite my better judgement. This was an absolutely terrible film, and is no way what a Friday the 13th movie should be. If the film ended before the opening credits ran, I would have been happy. But once Marcus Nispel started morphing Jason into Leatherface, you can count me out.
44.All About Steve- 40/100
Hey its Sandra Bullock again! In another role as a clumsy bafoon! Hilarious!
43.S. Darko- 43/100
Maybe one of the most unnecessary sequels ever made. S. Darko feels like a Final Destination movie made for Lifetime.
42.Paul Blart: Mall Cop- 45/100
I'm always happy to see someone who's great on tv break through into films but I was really hoping that Kevin James' stint would be a little more than just fart jokes and falling down a lot.
41.Year One- 51/100
If I had to name two comedic actors that seemed to be just around the corner from over-played, I think Michael Cera and Jack Black. Put them in a movie together in which the funniest lines have been milked dry by the trailer, and you've got a very unfunny film. The worst part is, the jokes in the trailer weren't even that funny either.
40.Alvin and the Chimpmunks: The Squeakual- 59/100
I love Jason Lee, but his portrayal of Dave is awful. He can barely yelp out the "ALVIN!" that personifies his character. Even worse than Dave was his loser son that watched over the Chipmunks here in the sequel. He felt like a Justin Long impersonator with ADD.
And I know the movie's meant for kids, but it seemed if you took out the songs this thing would have been 40 minutes long.
39.Post Grad- 61/100
This was another date flick I got dragged too, but surprisingly wasn't as terrible as I'd imagined. Alexis Bledel seems to have the makings of a great leading lady, and it was nice watching Carol Burnett, Jane Lynch, and Michael Keaton steal the show from a painfully color by numbers love story.
38.A Perfect Getaway- 63/100
This film felt way too mis-matched to be one feature, and the twist was just a bit too much too swallow after being force fed the uneven balance of comedy and horror.
37.Last House on the Left- 65/100
A lot of promise shown here by the director, but not much else. I felt that Craven's original could have used a remake, but this was just too much of a cut and paste job to get into.
36.Paranormal Activity- 65/100
Exorcist + Blair Witch Project - Acting Talent = Paranormal Activity. Where the Blair Witch Project thrived on its authentic feel, Paranormal Activity felt too much like an amateur film student's easy way out of an assignment. Good for funhouse scares, but nothing more.
35.Couple's Retreat- 67/100
Not the worst comedy I've ever seen, but coming from Vaughn and Favreau, you'd really expect a little more.
34.Halloween 2- 68/100
Being one of the dozen people who didn't mind Rob Zombie's first remake of Halloween, I kind of thought he should quit while he was ahead. This sequel only reiterates that point. Needlessly brutal and overall pointless continuation of what should have ended back in '07. Give us some more original work already, Rob.
33.Jennifer's Body- 69/100
I really wanted to like this film, but its really just awful. It has this sort of b-movie campy-ness to it that drew me in and a sick sense of humor that had me chuckling throughout, but this movie isn't good at all. Its cheesy, unbelievably poorly acted, and just a bit too over the top.
32.Precious- 70/100
Although there are some great performances in this picture, it is extremely poorly made. Not only are the editing and direction piss poor, but the story really isn't that great either. Basically, if Mo'Nique wasn't in this the film would be awful.
31.Avatar- 72/100
Definitely one of the most overrated, overhyped pieces of eye candy to emerge from Hollywood this decade. I just really couldn't get over the fact that I felt like I was watching Ferngully v.s. Halo.
30.The Hurt Locker- 72/100
Didn't really see the need for all the praise surrounding this film. Other than the two leads delivering stellar performances, I really couldn't get into this film at all. The documentary style shooting, the rehashed war ethics...it was just a bit too played out for me to care.
29.District 9- 72/100
Basically a less advertised Avatar, District 9 is all about the effects. Its story is a tad better than Avatar though, and its got a fantastic sense of humor and social satire.
28.Observe and Report- 72/100
There was quite an atmosphere built up here, which gave the film quite a bit of potential. The problem- buying into Seth Rogen as the bipolar lunatic. The film had its moments, but was nowhere near the modern day Taxi Driver it made itself out to be.
27.The Box- 73/100
Definitely the most tame of Richard Kelly's projects thus far, but I really got blindsided by the whole martian conspiracy thing here. Surprisingly solid performances and another glimpse into what could be a promising directorial career for Kelly.
26.X-Men Origins: Wolverine- 75/100
Fairly decent summer action flick, despite the gleaming plot holes and awful character interpretations. Since when did Deadpool have so much in common with Baraka from Mortal Kombat? And why is Gambit acting like a Jnco gypsy?
25.The Informant- 75/100
Matt Damon's mustache is really the only thing I remember about this film. I think he was crazy and trying to blackmail his own company to raise to the top or something, I can't remember. It was boring. But Matt Damon and his mustache were fucking hilarious.
24.Star Trek- 77/100
JJ Abrams finally gets the summer blockbuster he'd hoped for with MI:3 with this sleek, sci-fi, action filled adventure through space. A great young cast and an intelligent script get us through a rather uneventful first outing for the Trekkies.
23.Extract- 78/100
Mike Judge's latest feels a little unfinished, but less than stellar Mike Judge is better than no Mike Judge. Keep on keeping on.
22.Public Enemy- 78/100
Michael Mann's guerilla camera work is frenetic and engaging for the viewer, but the story lacks that same energy. Johnny Depp delivers another great performance, but Bale is almost transparent in his role.
21.Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince- 78/100
Another great installment into the Potter anthology, despite its being the furthest from the book its based upon. Now lets just get this Harry v.s. Voldermort thing over with already!
20.I Love You, Man- 78/100
A fantastic little bro-mance with two of the most underappriciated actors to emerge from the Appatow explosion.
19.The Informers- 79/100
A stolid and lifeless 1980's lifestyle painted by Brett Eaton Ellis is beyond depressing, which is why most critics hated it. But if the object of the film was to do this, why should it be punished for doing so?
18.Away We Go- 79/100
A fantastic little rom-com, featuring an incredible supporting cast and a breakthrough performance for SNL alum Maya Rudolph. Still hard to believe that this is a Sam Mendes picture though...
17.Zombieland- 79/100
Seems to lack in the horror, but its extremely funny and smart for a zombie film. Woody Harrelson plays quite the iconic role while Jesse Eisenberg continues his Michael Cera impersonation. I thought it felt a little early for directors to rip off Zack Snyder already.
16.Bruno- 79/100
I think it may have been next to impossible for Sacha Baron Cohen to outdo his work on Borat, but with Bruno you can definitley tell that he tried his hardest. But with the success of Borat, the stunts are scaled down considerably and feel just a bit artificial as a result. Its too bad, because Bruno had the possibility of some great moments that just seemed to be lacking throughout the picture.
15.Drag Me to Hell- 81/100
Sam Raimi's return to horror surely wasn't Evil Dead 4, but it wasn't anything near the quality of SpiderMan 3 either. A fun and frantic ride that felt like a classic Universal Monster flick. A bit too much slapstick at times (talking goats, singing demons, really?), but overall its a great time at the movies.
14.The Hangover- 81/100
I had a feeling that Zach Galifiankis was going to break out eventually, I just wasn't sure that it was going to be in such a huge way. And while the Hangover was pretty damn funny, it wasn't anything groundbreaking either. Even Zach just plays the classic role of the weird/dumb fat guy. Glad to see Todd Phillips back in the comedy game.
13.Taking Chance- 82/100
Kevin Bacon delivers an incredible performance in what may be the best film of 2009 that nobody saw.
12.Terminator: Salvation- 82/100
I don't know why this film brought so much hate. After T3, a PG-13 rating, and the director of Charlie's Angels being attached I pictured this film turning out much much worse. But surprisingly we get an intelligently bleak and action packed link into the Terminator series. Bring on the rest, I'm ready!
11.Where the Wild Things Are- 83/100
Possibly the most beautifully shot picture of the year, Where the Wild Things captures the child like state of wonderment we've all experienced and the feelings of loneliness that sometimes accompany.
10.The Road- 83/100
I've been looking forward to this film for nearly a year now, so I have to admit I was a little let down by the end of the film. While the performances and direction created an incredibly isolated and dark world, it seems like the film lacked any major events that may have progressed the story along. I suppose I was just wanting a little more to happen to our protagonists.
9.(500) Days of Summer- 83/100
An insanely fun and real look at modern romance with two of Hollywood's biggest up and coming stars. Its great to see them work together and have this film receive such critical and financial success.
8.Adventureland- 83/100
Gregg Mottola delivers again, with a more mature teen dramedy this time around. A solid cast, fantastic script, and captivating carnival atmosphere make Adventureland one of the most memorable films of the year.
7.Inglorious Basterds- 84/100
After years and years of ranting about it, we finally have received Tarantino's masterful war epic. And while it is both masterful and epic, its fallen into the QT stereotype of too much talk and not enough action.
Now there is action, and its done very very well...but there's just a lot of dead weight in between. Christoph Waltz delivers an incredible performance while Brad Pitt demands attention in almost every scene he's in with his hilarious portrayal of the southern commander Aldo the Apache. Quentin needs a new editor.
6.Funny People- 84/100
Judd Apatow's latest isn't nearly as funny as his prior two efforts, nor is it meant to be. It's a deep character study of some, well, funny people. Sandler and Rogen give outstanding performances in a deep and moving film.
5.Fantastic Mr. Fox- 85/100
I had no idea what to expect when I saw the trailer to this film. I'm a huge Wes Anderson film, but I'll be the first to admit that I couldn't decide why this may turn out to be a good film.
But once I gave it a chance, I had the most fun at the movies I'd had all year. It's a relentlessly funny and warm film truly suitable for all ages. The voices are done extremely well, namely by Clooney and Swartzman. A highly imaginative and humorous ride, incredibly entertaining.
4.A Serious Man- 86/100
The Coen Brothers have been on quite the roll lately. First the Academy Award winning western tale of No Country For Old Men, then the romantic black comedy hit Burn After Reading, and now a miraculous look at a man trying to do the right thing and struggling with his faith.
A Serious Man is definitely not a film for everyone, but its one that many can appreciate. On his endless quest for love, Michael Stuhlbarg finds that his children resent him, his brother is involved with illegal activity, his wife wants a divorce, and even his affair is a fruitless time filler. Nothing he does can stop the inevitable storm on the horizon, and nowhere he looks can he find love.
3.Up in the Air- 86/100
While the formula feels a bit stale and re-hashed, Jason Reitman freshens it up and sends out a stellar cast to tell an all familiar story of the non-conformist finding comfort in humanity, rather than resenting it.
Its amazing how bitterly cold the subject matter is here, while the characters remain warm and caring. But I suppose thats the entire premise of the film.
2.Antichrist- 86/100
Easily the most controversial film of the year, Lars Von Trier's AntiChrist is undeniably well made. Its incredibly savage and is unflinchingly direct in its depiction of the woman, yet the true meanings behind the film are still a bit unknown.
The direction is superb, and Charolette Gainsbourg's performance is Oscar worthy. The film's violence may seem pornographic at first, but let the messages and themes sink in over night and you'll start to see that this is much more than another venture into torture porn.
1.Watchmen- 93/100
The best graphic novel of all time is now the best comic book adaptation of all time. Zack Snyder did an astounding job recreating the comic book, and I really couldn't imagine anything being done better. Well, maybe a little less slow mo, but thats it.
Even the ending, which seemed extremely silly to me when I read it in the comic, was fantastic. Its the darkest and most real comic book film ever made, and it deserves the attention that should accompany such a title.
Chillin'
