Ugh... there is so much that is wrong with this movie that I don't have the free time to fully replicate in words the distaste that I have with this first installment of Lucas' prequels. Like I've done with some reviews in the past, I'll give a brief overview of some of the MAJOR issues I have. If you've seen the movie, you'll know the references, and if you haven't you might have an idea of what to expect...[more]...

If a movie starts out with the main character introducing himself and his history to the audience by voiceover narration, 99% of the time I could bet on the fact that the information provided could have been easily introduced with subdued exposition in pieces of dialog throughout the movie; but it's handed to us, The Viewers, by cheap narration because the screenwriters/director/producers - whoever - believe the audience is too stupid to pay attention...[more]...

After having watched the 1980 original yesterday, I'm shocked to see how well they fucked up everything that was good about the original. With it being directed by Alan Parker, he can't resist adding elements of the fantastic to his movies, and the 1980 version had two silly moments in which the entire school broke out in dance. This newer version also redid the cafeteria performance scene, but the true talent was how they also stripped away the whimsical and almost self-aware tone that helped me digest the dorkiness of the original (perhaps being dated helped add to the kitsch). I would also wager that real singing and true vocal talent isn't a factor at this school any more. It's more important for the students to know how to rap, because that really IS a display of musical talent. It has nothing to do with being talented at beat poetry, and mugging and posing for the camera as you get up in some other biatche's grill is a great way to show you're actually talented...[more]...

This being the "dump month" for Hollywood, it's a bit of a surprise that a movie full of older-but-famous actors didn't get more respect and receive a more attractive marketing scheme on a more impressive release date. Was it lack of faith in the product, or more to try and gather receipts to sweep up lagging competition? It's certainly not for Oscar recognition; this is not that kind of movie...[more]...

MACHETE was very bloody and had some pretty fucking hilarious moments. Best use of an evil fighting naked chick since POINT BREAK. Classic cooch-use moment as well...[more]...

I last saw SPR in 1998, and was not all that impressed. All the reasons for me not liking it resurfaced in a MAJOR way when I sat down to soak in the video/audio pleasure to be had from this great BR transfer...[more]...

As I sit here typing my review, I'm still ruminating on the themes and minor mind-fuckery that I experienced less than an hour ago. Even now little clues left behind in this movie's monstrous wake are starting to surface, and I can start to mentally piece together some of what made me originally go "Huuhhh...[more]...

Here's something about independent films that really drives me batshit; when they ADVERTISE that they are independent by the soundtrack...[more]...

Weird. I watched The Wackness yesterday, and today I saw Gamer... both have Aaron Yoo. Who? Exactly. Even more strange is that a few days after seeing THIS movie I watched NICK AND NORA'S... and he's in it. ALSO, I saw FRIDAY THE 13TH just a few months ago. This is weird...[more]...