KcMsterpce posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 16 days ago

The Cloverfield Paradox


Directed by: Julius Onah
Written by: Doug Jung
Cast: Daniel Bruhl, Elizabeth Debicki, Chris O'Dowd, David Oyelowo, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Aksel Hennie, John Ortiz, Zhang Ziyi
Genre: Drama, Horror, Science-Fiction
Official Site:
Plot: Earth's power resources (not sure what those resources are) are depleting. A team of scientists pilot a ship that is meant to tap into a kind-of sorta anti-matter power source to recharge earth's need for power (or something)? When it "works", they form an inter-dimensional rift. Some quirky, somewhat amusing stuff happens. Bad things happen, too.


It was stupid fun for the first hour. I could have complained plenty, but I didn't. I was just going along for the silly ride.
It wasn't particularly "great" at any point, but the whole thing was fine for an average waste-your-time sci-fi thriller with real science FICTION.
First of all, the pseudo-science in this movie is completely wonky. Anyone who knows Space Science 100 for their 7th grade physics intro class would be shaking their head in confusion. I didn't consider this the point of the movie, though. Space is merely the setting, not the purpose.
I think the point was to make an entertaining fluff piece of part-horror, part-adventure about a team of people being picked off and/or going crazy for an unknown reason.
That's essentially what happens, and there are some imaginative concoctions along the way, including a severed arm that acts like Thing from The Addams Family (or Ash's cut off hand). I guess when quantum entanglement occurs, it literally involves entangling.
The first couple of deaths were also fun to watch. As the movie starts pushing beyond the 45-minute mark, it begins to gain momentum. Unfortunately, the momentum is encased in a pile of shit, and as those gears start spinning up, so, too does the Bullshit Meter begin smacking viewers' faces with feces.

Each minute in the final act ticked down in quality, and spiraled into a paralyzing miasma of dreadfulness, like a nightmare you can't escape.
Somewhere around 30 minutes remaining in this movie is all you will have to watch. When there is a quiet, unobtrusive closeup on "H2O overload" on a computer screen, you can turn the movie off one minute later.
The last 25 minutes turns into absolute shit. There is a countdown sequence just like something from GRAVITY (this timer was degrees in an angle); a long, painfully stupid farewell "be strong, love life" video/podcast scene; a "twist" that adds more peril when it's not needed; a stupid showdown sequence that lacked any suspense (but perhaps a nod to ALIEN: RESURRECTION at the end of the fight? Hm.); and finally, the last minute was the worst part of the whole movie.

I'm so glad I watched GROUNDHOG DAY today. Man, that's a great movie.

Grade: D-
Score: 3/10

Reviewed 5 February, 2018

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