KcMsterpce posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: about 1 month ago

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story


Directed by: Gareth Edwards
Written by: Chris Weitz
Cast: Felicity Jones, Ben Mendelsohn, Diego Luna, Riz Ahmed, Sam Clafin, Mads Mikkelson, Alan Tudyk, Donnie Yen
Studio: Walt Disney
Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Science-Fiction
Official Site:
Plot: The story of how the plans for the Death Star were collected. Oh, also something about a girl who then becomes a woman and is the daughter of the architect/engineer/designer for the Death Star.


Prequels are tricky. It can be a challenge to establish a story based on events BEFORE the conclusion. It can lead to certain expectations (some warranted, some not), and spoilers for how it all ends are already in place. What’s most important to me with a prequel is if it is a good journey getting to that ending. There can still be surprises, and if done well, it can help to enhance and strengthen one’s enjoyment of the first movie(s). Other times, it can fall into “completely unnecessary” category; fall victim to fleshing out throwaway comments on the back history from the original movies in ways that were never intended to be brought to the screen. Finally, a prequel can become a victim to that dreaded “fanservice”, in which things are put into the movie as a sole means to satiate the desires of fans.
SW: ROGUE ONE falls victim to all the pitfalls of why prequels are better off just being left alone. As if George Lucas didn’t already teach this important lesson with his abysmal prequels. Ultimately, who’s the real victim here, right? The prequels were a massive box office success. People bitched, but hey… WE, the PEOPLE, provided that success. Why wouldn’t Disney ca$h in with the path of easiest and least resistance? Why try, when it’s obvious that NO effort can still yield a billion fucking dollars?

I don’t mind odd and strange names of characters, but for ROGUE ONE, names don’t matter. The only interesting thing about any of the characters in this movie are the names. There’s no depth to these people. There is a blind man who is “in touch” with the Force that is a badass with a stick. He has a partner that is also Chinese, so… cool, they have a couple stars to appeal to the China crowd. Felicity Jones is Jyn Erso, who is supposed to be the main hero of the tale, but she is surrounded by bad writing and clichés. Everywhere. Forest Whitaker plays a somewhat adopted father to Jyn, after her father was whisked away by the Empire. He isn’t in the movie very long, and his final scene is so laughably outrageous that I wonder how he was considered a strong-willed and formidable leader of the underground for so long. The dude literally just GIVES UP, and no one even attempts to ask him “Why? Huh? Can’t you like, you know, just try walking on that fake leg of yours?”
The same goes for Donnie Yen’s blind dude. His key action scene during the final battle must have sounded cool while writing it. But then, if you even storyboarded the sequence well, it should have been apparent that there would be no need to waste money on such a stupid moment. This movie is full of wasted talent. But at that point, the movie was already an obvious waste of money, intended only to get butts in seats, and to have fans “ooh!” and “ahh!” at things that we’ve seen in the original SW movies. So then, we can watch and feel like the worst of Quentin Tarantino fans who say “Oh. A reference. I know it! I know that reference! That is…. AAWWESSOOMEE!”
The story itself is really predictable. Once again, it’s completely unnecessary. But what’s worse is how Darth Vader was so unfairly treated.

************ SPOILER, I GUESS, BUT NOT REALLY **************************
There is zero need for Darth Vader to have any part in this movie at all. However, if he wasn’t in it, then fans would go “Oh man, why wasn’t Vader in this?!” They even went out of their way to include his cameo in the trailer itself.
So, what happens when he shows up is, he turns on his lightsaber, and like a total badass, clears out a couple dozen rebels in a shuttle, just before his legendary entrance in Star Wars.
This scene is the best example of EVERYTHING fucked up about this crappy, stupid, insipid cash grab.
Darth Vader doesn’t need to fight low level soldiers. He lets others do that, because, well… he’s ABOVE that. The only time Vader should fight is when there is a formidable opponent. Instead, because ROGUE ONE wants to appease the fans, Vader not only shows up in the movie, but has to turn his lightsaber on and kill lots of dudes like a fucking kung fu master. To me, that negates the badassery of his dramatic entrance in the first movie. I always thought, as Vader comes through the doors just as the smoke clears in a hallway full of dead bodies, that he is obviously important, and a dude that should NOT be messed with. He exerts his strength more with words and subtle Force tricks, not with his lightsaber.
Also, Palpatine’s CGI face was fucking terrible. Hated it. HATED it. They should have just used an actor that looks like him, and get on with it. A fake face is SO much worse than the frustrations of a different actor. In a movie that should never have been made in the first place.

*************** END OF THE NOT-REALLY SPOILER ************************

A financial success for stuff like this only encourages them. Stop feeding the troll, people! I don't just hate the movie... I hate all that it represents. I hate that it decided to steer a beloved franchise into the black hole of fanservice and cheap shots.

It isn’t that this movie is a prequel which frustrates me. It is everything about this movie that frustrates me. Star Wars has an entire UNIVERSE that can be explored. There are an outrageous amount of characters and stories that can be told, in many time frames AROUND the lifespan of the Skywalker family and friends, that can be tapped into and expounded upon. Instead, Disney just makes a vapid, stupid movie that doesn’t even attempt to push any boundaries or explore new avenues of the SW property.
Worse than that is that it actually belittles and degrades the original trilogy. That’s the biggest “shame on you” that I can give, I guess. Yet, fans went apeshit over it, paid their hard earned cash to fill the seats, which further encourages Disney to “play it safe”, and keep cashing in on the less interesting potentiality of the Star Wars universe. How maddening.

Score: 3/10
Grade: F

Reviewed 9 December, 2017


Other reviews of this film: LelekPL (7/10) , Moviefreak2010 (10/10) > Display all

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