Push

I wasn't pulled into the "Push" phenom, but when friends ask me to see a movie with them, I rarely resist. Dakota Fanning once again ticks me off and I wish she wasn't in any movie. Ever. The movie itself is silly and convoluted as hell. I wonder if even the WRITERS knew exactly what they were talking about by the final act. It's no big deal to me, though. I wasn't expecting much.
Is this based off of a comic book series? I have no idea. But this is freaking awesome!
It's so awesome how the most gifted Watcher (one who can visualize the future) spawns the most gifted young Watcher. I like more how the most gifted Mover (telekinetic) is father to a Mover that doesn't have much ability... until his untapped potential bursts forth when it's crunch time!
Even better are the what I'll call Screamers, because it's these Asian guys who wear sunglasses... until they decide to Scream. And then they rip off their sunglasses all Hollywood Movie Star-like and Scream really loud, but it only works when they make their eyes huge "O"s as if they are no longer Asian! They actually look like they are seeing the scariest thing ever created in the universe, and the scream is remarkably devastating. The screams break open fish tanks at the market, and cause ears to bleed. I don't know if these effects come from the loud scream or from the wild eyes. It might be a combination of both. Like, when they start screaming it's loud and makes you look at their face. But then, you see how an Asian can be scared to caucAsian-ness (because their eyes are no longer slanted), and the sight and sound combined becomes too much for one human to comprehend. Yeah, that's it!
The Shadows make a bubble of protection from having someone get detected by Pushers. But not from Watchers, who will find that person anyway. Don't get confused yet! The world is full of these mutant-like human experiments. Pushers push thoughts into your brain. But why is this movie called, Push, especially since it is about a Watcher, a Pusher and a Mover? Maybe it should be called Watch, Push, Move. Soon you start to think that the Movers are actually Pushers because it stars a Mover (Chris Evans) who is the main character, but they "push" objects with their mind. I think the makers ("Makers") of this movie should have renamed Pushers to Thought Placers, so the Movers could then be named Pushers.

I have lots of ideas for this movie, many of which would have helped improve everyone's viewing experience. If you think the naming of one psychic's powers over another is confusing, wait until you get to the final act. It's pretty darned funny, actually. They threw in a quick reference to Fann-bitch's mother knowing tons of the shit that goes down because she's the best Watcher ever... meaning that no matter how ridiculous and impossible the things that they do to cheat death are, it can be made POSSIBLE just because the best of the best are better than the rest. Fann-bitch's mother can't be beat when it comes to drawing pictures of events of the future. She must have had a whole screenplay written down in pictures just to keep track of the shit that would only confuse any mere mortal Watcher. I swear most others would be writing down pictures and thinking, "What the hell is going on here?" Fann-bitch's mother is better than those losers, though.

The Deus Ex Machina once again rears its' ugly story problem solving head to tie up any loose ends you might have while wrapping your head around this movie's outlandish scenarios. Just think about how the best Watcher wrangled up the best of the Pushers and Movers to make a movie that is far from the best of anything.

I am very lost now. I don't know much of what I wrote, but because the movie is so nonsensical, so should this review be.

GRADE: D+

TRIVIA:
Here's a rundown from IMDB on the different kinds of special abilities:
"The different type of psychics in the film are Movers (who can move objects with their mind), Pushers (who can control other peoples' thoughts), Watchers (who can see the future), Bleeders (who emit high-pitched screams that can burst blood vessels), Sniffs (who can track people), Shifters (who can temporarily change what an object looks like to others), Wipers (who can wipe memory), Shadows (who can cloak themselves and others around them from detection) and Stitchers (who can heal or unheal people)."