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Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior

DaveyJoeG at 05:17 AM Oct 04

It's about time you saw this.

Rambo's Kung Fu Review: Way of the Dragon

PLOT: Tang Lung (Bruce Lee) is sent to a Chinese Restaurant in Rome to protect it's workers from a local gang.

REVIEW:

If there is a god of Kung Fu, it is Bruce Lee. I do not even know if there is an argument on this one. Way of the Dragon is not going to disappoint the Bruce Lee fans out there. It's no Enter the Dragon, but it is a damn good Kung Fu Flick. Bruce Lee not only stars in this one, but he wrote it and directed it as well. The direction and cinematography can be a little choppy at times, but really, who expects oscar material in classic Kung Fu? The story is the typical "man sent to protect _______ from gangsters" kung fu flck. Nothing new and exciting in that aspect, but really, with the end (which I shall talk about later), The first hour and a half of this movie could have been Bruce Lee picking his nose and the end would have still made it insanely awesome. This is another that I had not seen in full yet. I have it in the Bruce Lee collection for a while but had not gotten past the first half hour (whcih I do far too much). I am glad I have finally watched it.

The Action in this movie is where it is at. Some may be turned off by the fact that there is none in the first half hour of the movie. But once the first punch is thrown, it is all worth the wait. It starts out with a highly one sided battle between Bruce Lee and the gangsters. Needless to say he kicks all of their asses. He even has time to sit on top of one of them, and kick the other two's asses from that position. Another highlight is when the gangsters pull Bruce Lee out to get rid of him, and he escapes and gets into a brawl involving pole fighting, nunchucks, and throwing knives. After a couple more good fights, the people at the restaurant think they have won, but it all comes down to an epic showdown that deserves its own paragraph in this review.

Ali vs. Foreman, David Vs. Goliath, Hatfields Vs. McCoys, what do all of these have in common? They don't have shit on the epic fight at the end of Way of the Dragon. When the good guys think it is all good, they call upon the one person that they feel could put up a fight against Bruce Lee. This is Colt, or as us Americans know him... Chuck Norris. Yes, Bruce Lee, and Chuck Norris fight each other. Where can such an epic fight take place? The Roman Coliseum of course! Where else? Chuck Norris' signature beard has switched locations in this fight and made it's home on Chuck Norris' chest. After a good 5 minutes of staring, cracking knuckles, air boxing, and random pointless shots of a cat watching them, the fight starts. Kick! Punch! Chest Hair Pull! Roundhouse Kick! Kick! Punch! It starts out as a fight, until Bruce Lee breaks Chuck Norris' arm, then his leg. But Chuck Norris, being the badass that he is, keeps going until finally, Bruce Lee breaks his neck, walks off, and it is finished. This is not for the faint of heart, as two badasses of that stature should not be able to appear on the same screen at the same time for obvious reasons. But to those of you that can handle so much testosterone, this is the cinematic equivalent of having three testicles. Some stuff happens after that in the movie, but really, does it even matter? You can not outdo that fight!

The Performances in this movie are what you would expect from a Bruce Lee flick. Bruce Lee is cocky and awesome, the others are all bitches, the villains are over the top, and Chuck Norris is insanely awesome. You gotta love the dubbing too, which I later read is done a lot by Bruce himself. If you love cheesy dubbing (which to me is half the fun of old Kung Fu), this will be your cup of tea.

All in all, this is pretty much what the fan of classic Kung Fu will love, despite the slow start, once the action picks up, it does not let up for very long. Bruce Lee just had this way of capturing your attention, even if he was not the best director. If you ever get a chance, check out the documentary about his work ethic on the Enter The Dragon special edition DVD. If you love any combination of Bruce Lee, nunchucks, throwing knives, Chuck Norris, and pole fighting, then this my friend, is the movie for you!

BEST MOMENT:

Right before the epic fight between him and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris give him the thumbs down, gladiator style.

Also got to mention Bruce Lee throwing knives at an attacker, taking him to the ground, and breaking his neck with his feet, then apparently breaking his neck more with his hands.

MOST "WTF" MOMENT

The dubbing of the African American gangsters. I believe this was Bruce Lee himself. "Do you have any Chinese Spare Ribs". Then they punch one of the chinese in the ribs. You really just have to hear it. Stereotype lovers will love hearing these horrible voices.

RATING 9/10

RAMBO'S RANDOM RAMBLING

On further reading, turns out this was the last movie actually filmed in the Coliseum. You really can not outdo what happens there, so I do not blame people for trying!

Mood: Chillin'

Rambo's Kung Fu Review: Ong Bak Review

Hey All, I am going to start going through my Kung Fu collection and writing reviews on it. Hope You all enjoy!

Plot: After the head is stolen off of his village's Buddha, Ting (Tony Jaa) goes on a mission to get it back.

Review: Tony Jaa may be the most ridiculously sculpted human being since Bruce Lee. Is he the buffest person on the planet? No, but the things this dude can do agility and strengthwise should not be able to be done by any human being on the planet. This is on display in Ong Bak, where as most people know, he did every stunt without wires or CGI (yes kids, there are films made WITHOUT CGI!). I have been a fan of Tony Jaa's since I saw the AMAZING "The Protector" in theatres 2 years ago. I had always heard about this one, but had yet to watch it. It was sitting on my DVD shelf collecting dust. After seeing glimpses of a preview for the sequel, I decided to finally give it a go round. I must say, it was a good kung fu flick, but I have seen much better. That said it still kept me entertained.

There was some great action choreography and direction in this movie, and some pretty run of the mill stuff. One of the first parts of the movie is a cool little scene where they are all climbing up a tree for some sort of challenge. This displays some awesome choreography and action. That is not the best part though. The underground fight scenes in this movie are just straight up SICK! You really get to see some great stuff in these. They even have the obligatory crazy ass roided up white guy (actually two of them) that appears in every modern Kung Fu flick. Tony Jaa uses his fists, elbows, knees, feet, or whatever it takes to defeat his opponents. These were very well choreographed, and in my opinion the best part of the movie. On top of the awesome underground fight scenes, there is a great chase scene where Ting and Humlae are running from a group of gangsters. Tony Jaa does some ridiculous flipping, jumping, sliding, and climbing in this scene. As awesome as the scene was, it, like many others was held back by so many double takes it started getting ridiculous. There were some great moments here and there, but I do not think there was much special outside of those scenes that was anything new and breathtaking to the genre. Entertaining, but just not anything to write home about.

Characterwise, this was pretty run of the mill. Tony Jaa is the quiet lead, we have the comic relief sidekick in Humlae/George, his sister, Korntuan, the chain smoking villain that talks with a voice box, and his minions. All pretty basic stuff. Nothing here really that stuck out too much.

Over all, this was a solid Kung Fu flick, but I am not sure what sets this one over some of the other recent ones that have come out. In my opinion the sequel looks like it will be a lot better. There was enough good action in this one to keep me entertained, and Tony Jaa's amazing stuntwork has to be appreciated. While it may not be a classic, it has enough good stuff to keep you watching. I would recommend this one to any Kung Fu fan, whether casual or hardcore.

BEST MOMENT: I gotta say the first fight where Ting just takes the opponent out with about as much of a struggle as the swordsman in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

MOST "WTF" MOMENT: The slow speed chase with those weird little street cars. It is bad enough 1 driver was stupid enough to drive off the edge, but the fact that ike 23 others followed is even dumber.

RATING: 7/10

RAMBO'S RANDOM RAMBLING: They call out Spielberg in one scene. "Hi Spielberg, Let Do It Together." Is written on a wall in the background.

Mood: Happy

SuperMarcey at 10:01 AM Oct 02

I really enjoyed this film. Nice review too! Keep em coming

An Ode to the Straight To DVD/Video! (A john_rambo Original Poem)

Oh Straight to DVD movies,
What joy you bring me,
Reminding me that C Thomas Howell is still alive,
Letting me know that 80's pops singers still breathe,
Reminding me that people liked "Bring it On" enough to have 57 sequels.
But why no love?
People treat you as if you are out to hurt them.
Lies! I say! Lies!
You will always have a spot in my heart!
From "Leprechaun in the Hood", to the Stallone classic "Shade!"
You truly know what makes this grown man weep happily.
While others may chastise you, I want to hug you.
While other may want to harm you, I want to love you.
And While others won't watch you, I'll visually devour you, Forevermore.
So to you, straight to DVD, video, I raise my glass.
In hopes that others, see the sheeps in wolve's clothing.
But really, Everyone go get Shade, it's fucking SICK!

Mood: Bored