The best 3-sentence synopsis for JOBLO.COM: THE MOVIE below will win a copy of THE EVIL DEAD on Blu-ray. Contest ends this Friday @ midnight. North American entries only please. Good Luck.
You've seen the people. You've heard the stories. Now, prepare to have your mind, JoBlo-wn.
@madmaxx - Right here, sir. Just hit the comment button and sell that shit.
Read about the movies. Watch the movies. Bitch about the movies, Joblo.com.
Intrepid reviewer Joblo and the Joblo.com Staff Army battle hordes of remakes, sequels, and Hollywood hype to bring justice to movie fanboys worldwide. But you don't get to 500 million reviews...without making a few enemies.
In a world were most movies are about whiney emo vampire romance one movie dares to go balls out and in your face.
JoBlo.com: The Movie.
Because Vampires Suck.
It started as a website,now this fall witness the game come Full Circle...
JOBLO.COM: THE MOVIE!
The only movie not in fucking 3D.
A forbidden love. Way too much tequila. ....Where the fuck is your mind at sicko?
Moreno, and Jim Law, are not getting enough love in these synopsis. ^^^^^But this guy, gets it!!!!
A group of friends from miles apart meet up in a new country. When they get to the UK they beat the shit out of some fucking prick. With a guest appearance from I Am Rogue's James Oster, aka JimmyO.
It all started with Armageddon. Than came The Arrow. Let the bitches, whiskey and nachos fucking flow
They were lost untill they found love.
JoBlo.com:The Movie.
This Summer open up and let in a little love.
A group of friends from miles apart meet up in the small town of San Diego. There's Aliens, Batman, hot bitches, creatures of all kinds and parties with a lot of drinking. Some other shit happens but I'm fucking drunk.
They sought to provide a voice for the average movie goer.
They never meant for it to get this big
You dont get this big without gaining a Mexicanish mascot
Tales of pooped pants. Mike Sampson wanting to caress Jim Law....How the fuck did this website get a movie?
A quest to get quoted on a Pixar movie DVD cover. A reviewer who is quoted on EVERYTHING. The battle for Pixar glory has begun
A chick with four boobs and a baby with a hook for a foot. A world without lame ass PG-13 horror. Yep, somebody ate the worm
From the guys who couldn't get a callback from two stoned Mexicans; "I AM THE LAW!" Your booze is the scene of the crime.
The Canadian women's curling team. A trash can full of jungle juice. They're gonna need a bigger boat...
Joblo: Step up to the Electric Boogaloo 3D
-Directed by M. Night Shymalalnalnaln
"A Powerful, Action-Packed, Exciting Family Film".
Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz, Jim Law
One bottle of tequila
Vicky Christina Jobalona
Jim Law and Moreno didn't expect to find love, but love found them. And so did...their son!... And also a chimpanzee.
In a world where movie news came far too slowly, one man had the BALLS to create a website to make the pain go away.
Starring JoBlo himself as JoBlo, from director Martin Scorsese, comes the uplifting tale of JoBlo.com.
Also, Mark Zuckerberg is a fuckface.
Trapped in a cybernetic internet world...
JoBlo must fight the forces of evil computer viruses...
To create the ONE WEBSITE TO RULE THEM ALL.
"Love Happens, Actually"
In CyberSpace, no one can hear you scream.
JoBlo.com The Movie.
11-11-11
JoBlo had the perfect life: Money, Fame, a Website, Salma Hayek Pictures...
Then, tranquility was shattered by two drunken assholes who nearly destroyed everything.
Jim Law. Johnny Moreno. JoBlo. Mike Sampson. JoBlo.com The Movie.
In a world filled with snobby critics, one website dares to tell it like it is. Get ready for a thrill ride filled with reel action. Oh yeah, and did we mention boobs?
More fun than getting punched in the dick...probably.
Joblo.com: The Movie
Never.
The only movie whose shitty reviews of, may make it into the sequel...
I know, its fucking confusing.
Get Joblo'ed!
It's a movie, about a website, about movies.
How can it not be fucking epic?
Now flush, and get your ass to the theater.
A young internet critic with creative facial hair rises to fame winning the hits of millions, the respect of Roger Ebert, and a quote on the back cover of the Battlefield Earth DVD. Now, in the near future during the internet's darkest moment, he must save cyberspace from hoards of IMDB trolls lead by his former friend, the treacherous Jim Law. Featuring a special cameo by the Montreal Canadiens.
Don't miss the action epic of the summer.
Bruce Willis is LAW; Brad Pitt is SAMPSON; Betty white is MORENO.
Get double fisted for Joblo: The Destroyer.
Two guys in front of a blue screen get drunk and talk shit about movies. Blue screen flashes pictures of large breasted women.... but never a money shot. It ends with you not winning a t-shirtor dvd.
Criminal Mastermind Mike Sampson is plotting the takeover of JoBlo.com. With the Arrow in the Head boys, the plan is to murder JoBlo and seize his assets. Jim Law and Johnny Moreno must come together with their drunken fighting skills to save the world (and JoBlo himself) from the forces of evil.
Honestly, nobody knows what this movie is about. Does anybody care? The writers certainly didn't.
JOBLO.COM THE MOVIE
Coming soon (maybe)
After a night of heavy drinking, the Arrow and Moreno get lost in San Diego where JoBlo, Jim Law, Jason Adams, Ammon Gilbert, Mike Sampson, Bill Pullman, and Niki Stephens spend 6 days looking for the duo in every sun-filled / dirt-covered corner in SD's citiy limits. *SPOILER* Turns out, the two were just passed out in each other's arms in the hotel closet the whole time and spent the better part of the 6th day drinking the room's mini-bar dry and watching a marathon of The Jersey Shore. *END SPOILER*
Based on a true story.
A group of freelance movie reviewers are put to the ultimate test when they realize that they are being recruited by the CIA to stop their future selves from destroying the Internet by giving the worst movie ever made a good review. Passions ignite and tempers run hot when they are forced to put aside their differences to work as a team with a leader, demoltions expert, martial arts master, wise cracking knife thrower, cyborg, silent but violent bare knuckle boxer, tech guy, and a mysterious preacher. Will they be able to montage their way into a cohesive unit to stop themselves, will the Internet be forever destroyed or is the CIA hiding the truth.
A action packed adventure filmed with the 3D technology that brought us the blockbuster hit Avatar. We join friendly, mild mannered visitor from the great northern Canada, Mr. Jim Law and his fellow Mexicanish friend Johnny Moreno on a road trip to the liquor store across the great town of Chicago. Good, bad and ugly things happen as the drunken duo realizes the shit just got real when they run into a high stakes poker game, a jewelry heist, a bachelor party, one of the grimiest bars ever, a high class gentleman's club, and a 6 year's birthday party... involving blood, bullets and broads... and one lonesome donkey all of which just to get to a new case of beer and some Captain Morgan rum.
A tale as old as time itself... former friends: one almost retired Canadian Mountie decorated Officer Jim "I am the Law" Law and former strip club DJ/mall security guard Johnny "Be Bad" Moreno are thrown in together in their return to their old stomping grounds after learning of their childhood friend, little Mikey Sampson's disappearance. The two blood brothers will stop at nothing to uncover the truth of their long lost friend no matter how ugly it might get: underground fighting rings, cult gatherings and mysterious connections to The Pentaverate. Fighting against time and back and forth through time with the use of out of this world technology not known to have existed, the duo fight for their friend and regain the friendship they once had risking it all in this high stakes game of cat and mouse.
*To be read in bombastic movie announcer voice*
He thought he knew movies but he sure as sh*t knew how to drink.
This summer see how one French Canadian's passion for film turned into a think tank of perversion and decadence. Oscar nominee Salma Hayek, maple syrup and Rick Moranis co-star in 'I'm No Schmoe: The Joblo Story'.
Rated NC-17: Because f*ck the MPAA!
The JoBlo.com staff travels to San Diego for the annual Comic Con. Unfortunately Mega Piranha and Mega Shark are attacking said Con. Will they be able to destroy Team Mega and save the weekend?
***SPOILER*** JimmyO cameo (he saves the day) ***END SPOILER***
Two men bring new meaning to the words Drunken Master in this inspirational tale of Drunken Arm Wrestling when down on his luck Jim Law, former truck driver and navy seal, has a run in with former arm wrestling champion Michael "Man-Beast" Sampson when he wrestles his arm off and breaks into the world of underground Drunken Arm Wrestling. In a turn of destiny Law meets legendary Drunken Arm Wrestling trainer Johnny "Jacked" Moreno, now a has-been local YMCA pilates instructor and the two set on the road to challenge WCDAW (World Championship Drunken Arm Wrestling) champ, John "The Arrow" Fallon and his trainer Ammon "Goddamm" Gilbert in a fight that promises to shatter shot glass after shot glass. Along the way the two meet legendary greats such as former legendary WCDAW trainers and now color commentators Eric "Bill Pullman" Walkuski and the great Jimmy O in this machismo tale of blood and sweat & liquor and broads where we learn that just like in life in the world of underground Drunken Arm Wrestling sometimes it's a mix of all four.
They had been force-fed one shitty movie too many, and they had enough.
Now, two extraordinary men will give it to Hollywood right where it hurts the most, and [bleep] it in the [bleep], [bleep] [bleep] it in the [bleep] [bleep] [bleep], [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] its [bleep] [bleep] and [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] right in its fucking face!
JOBLO and THE ARROW as...JOBLO and THE ARROW in...JOBLO & THE ARROW: BEATING JON TURTLETAUB!
Be prepared because you're in for a ride of your life..
It is a roller coaster ride that will take you to unimaginable places..
This Winter, in 3D, Joblo comes right at you..
Three Men.
57 shots of Scotch and a Blu Ray player...
You do the math.
Beers(high-life), Booze(rum), and Bitches(hayek). Mexicans(Moreno), Canadians(Jim Law, The mother fuckin Arrow MAN), and gays(Mike Sampton). An all around good, familiy friendly, action-adventure-comedy set in Chicago, USA!
A ticking-time-bomb insomniac and an assembly line manager channel primal male aggression into a shocking new form of therapy. Their concept catches on, with underground "podcasting clubs" forming in every town, until an eccentric gets in the way and ignites an out-of-control spiral toward oblivion.
oh wait that's the Fight Club synopsis, never mind.
Based on a true story. When movie reviewing douche Tom Perkins aka Pisshole plagiarizes Jim and Moreno's two friends they decide the line has to be drawn and defend their honor by taking justice into their own hands by stepping it up... to the street in the most extreme form of action possible: a rap and dance off. DJ "Jazzy" Jim Law and Johnny "Mac Daddy" Moreno make one last stand against the uber douche and rival website Aintitshitnews in what promises to be the ultimate break dance fighting/rap battle on the streets of Windsor, Ontario... not Windsor, Canada.
Might be a dumb question but where do you enter?