One of the Funniest Movie Dialogues Ever
Coutesy of Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg and their recent action-comedy THE OTHER GUYS.
Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg): You know what I just did? I just walked out that door, saw a couple of dectectives and I was about to start bad-mouthin' you behind your back. But I stopped myself because my pops taught me that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell): Wow, I actually appreiciated that.
Hoitz: Good, beause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face.
Gamble: No, you don't have to.
Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think your a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you. Even if you wern't in my food chain I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and friggin' EAT you!!! And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Gamble: Okay, first off. A lion? Swimming in the ocean? Lions Don't like water! If you put me in a river or some kind of fresh water source, that makes sense. But you find youself in the ocean? 20-foot waves. I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa. Coming up against a full rogue 800-pound tuna, with his twenty or thirty freinds? (shakes head) You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion - we've talked to ourselves; we've communicated! And we've said 'You know what? Lion tastes good! Let's go get some more lion.' We've developed a system to establish a beachhead and aggressivley hunt you and your family. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring --
Hoitz: -- Oh yeah?! How you gonna do that?
Gamble: We will constuct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. But an hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live and go back to the sea. You just lost to your own game; you are outgunned and outmanned. Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? (shakes head) Nope.
Flustered for words, Hoitz picks up Gamble's coffee cup and throws it on him. Loud, painful screaming from Gamble ensues.
Bored
nothing can beat stepbrothers :) but this movie is sooo up there! you lose that battle 9 times outta ten lol classic
Great exchange between them. Another one i like was the Pimp story. "You can't have emotions in the pimp game." hilarious!
Lol, that was fantastic I agree. That movie is going to be 10x funnier the second time around too, I know it. It may not have been Talladega Nights, Anchorman, or Step Brothers quality. But damn was it still hilarious.