Hey Film Buffs. Don't you hate it when this happens?
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3-LxmrFm40
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Jack The Narrator
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Hey, has anybody on here seen the recent theatrical releases MIDDLE MEN and FLIPPED? Both of these movies were supposed to be major releases and both received great reviews, but neither have made it to my part of the country and I fear they never will until they come out on video.
Jack The Narrator posted a BLOG item about 15 hours ago
brookee79 at 12:58 PM Sep 08
TheChanges23 at 03:20 PM Sep 08
One of the Funniest Movie Dialogues Ever
Coutesy of Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg and their recent action-comedy THE OTHER GUYS.
Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg): You know what I just did? I just walked out that door, saw a couple of dectectives and I was about to start bad-mouthin' you behind your back. But I stopped myself because my pops taught me that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell): Wow, I actually appreiciated that.
Hoitz: Good, beause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face.
Gamble: No, you don't have to.
Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think your a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you. Even if you wern't in my food chain I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and friggin' EAT you!!! And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Gamble: Okay, first off. A lion? Swimming in the ocean? Lions Don't like water! If you put me in a river or some kind of fresh water source, that makes sense. But you find youself in the ocean? 20-foot waves. I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa. Coming up against a full rogue 800-pound tuna, with his twenty or thirty freinds? (shakes head) You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion - we've talked to ourselves; we've communicated! And we've said 'You know what? Lion tastes good! Let's go get some more lion.' We've developed a system to establish a beachhead and aggressivley hunt you and your family. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring --
Hoitz: -- Oh yeah?! How you gonna do that?
Gamble: We will constuct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. But an hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live and go back to the sea. You just lost to your own game; you are outgunned and outmanned. Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? (shakes head) Nope.
Flustered for words, Hoitz picks up Gamble's coffee cup and throws it on him. Loud, painful screaming from Gamble ensues.
Mood: 
Bored
Bored
nothing can beat stepbrothers :) but this movie is sooo up there! you lose that battle 9 times outta ten lol classic
Great exchange between them. Another one i like was the Pimp story. "You can't have emotions in the pimp game." hilarious!
Jack The Narrator updated his STATUS: 2 days ago
madmaxx1122 at 12:11 AM Sep 07
The One Coz at 06:03 PM Sep 07
Hey, has anybody on here seen the recent theatrical releases MIDDLE MEN and FLIPPED? Both of these movies were supposed to be major releases and both received great reviews, but neither have made it to my part of the country and I fear they never will until they come out on video.
We got Middle Men here in Washington at quite a few theaters for like a two week run. I saw that one and I really liked it. Who doesn't love anything and everything about porn. I want to see Flipped but no go over here.
I just tried to find 'Middle Men' anywhere near me and it is nowwhere. I am kinda pissed I wanted to see from the moment I heard about it. I am just north of Boston and its not even playing anywhere in the city. I hope it hits Blu-Ray soon so I can rent it. This happened last year with 'The Hurt Locker'. I saw all the other 9 best picture candidates in the theater prior to the Oscars but this eventual winner I had to get from Netflix before the awards.
Jack The Narrator posted an IMAGE item: 2 days ago
Jack The Narrator at 09:00 PM Sep 06
THE AMERICAN's Violante Placido
If you want to know why THE AMERICAN was #1 at the box-office this Labor Day weekend. I like to think a lot of it had to to with the film's insanely gorgeous co-star Violante Placido. Even if the movie is quiet and slow-paced (which it its), her sex scenes with Clooney are amazing. The woman has a phenominal body.
Jack The Narrator posted a MOVIE REVIEW item:
2 days ago
Machete
| Directed by: | Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez |
|---|---|
| Written by: | Robert Rodriguez |
| Cast: | Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Jeff Fahey, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin |
| Studio: | Fox |
| Genre: | Action, Crime |
| Official Site: | www.vivamachete.com |
Plot: Three years ago in Mexico, determined Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) is betrayed and set-up by his boss, resulting in his wife and child being murdered by drug kingpin Torrez (Steven Seagal). Now, in Texas, Machete resurfaces when hired to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), an extreme advocate against illegal immigration. Once again betrayed and set-up, Machete plots his revenge against the men who've wronged him with the help of resistance fighter Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), ICE Agent Sartana (Jessica Alba), and the shotgun-toting Padre (Cheech Marin).
Review:
Not so long ago, In April of 2007, the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double feature GRINDHOUSE shook up the movie theaters with its unconventional (for todays standards that is) filmmaking techniques and over-the-top plotlines. It even featured fake movie trailers before their respective exploitation features. One of these fake trailers was called MACHETE (which Rodriguez also directed) and it was considered by many who saw GRINDHOUSE as the the most memorable part of the double-feature (not a real compliment, seeing how it was the first part of the movie). It was so popular in fact, that Rodriguez and his longtime assistant editor Ethan Maniquis decided to take the existing 3 minutes of fake trailer footage and make an actual 100 minute movie around it. Now, 3 1/2 years later, the feature length version of MACHETE is upon audiences. All I can say is: it should've stayed as a fake trailer...[more]...
Jack The Narrator created a LIST: 3 days ago
quidditchmom at 09:11 AM Sep 06
Jack The Narrator at 09:35 AM Sep 06
WalkAway at 10:42 AM Sep 06
I am Jack's Top 10 Favorite Drew Barrymore Movies
1. GOING THE DISTANCE
2. THE WEDDING SINGER
3. FEVER PITCH
4. MUSIC AND LYRICS
5. DONNIE DARKO
6. CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
7. CHARLIE'S ANGELS
8. LUCKY YOU
9. HOME FRIES
10. DUPLEX
11. Honorable Mentions: WHIP IT (her directorial debut) RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS (got to give her props for playing such an unlikable character), CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND, EVERYBODY'S FINE, EVER AFTER, and her cameos in WAYNE'S WORLD 2, BATMAN FOREVER and SCREAM
Ever After was kind of under the radar, but the imagery floored me. I had a poster of her in those fairy wings forever. She can do no wrong as far as Im concerned.
And I agree with Predator, she's hot and hilarious in Wayne's World 2.
Damn! I can't believe I forgot about her bit at Bjergen Kjergen in WAYNE'S WORLD 2. I'm adding that to the list right now. As for E.T., well, call me deplorable.:p actually, I did'nt feel right including her child actor roles.
I love The Wedding Singer and Charlie's Angels. When I was younger I legit wanted to become a Charlie's Angel as my career
Jack The Narrator updated his STATUS: 3 days ago
TheChanges23 at 12:56 AM Sep 06
VitamanMan8 at 01:03 AM Sep 06
rriddle at 02:16 AM Sep 06
Saw GOING THE DISTANCE tonight. Trust me when I say it is one of the very best romantic comedies I've seen. Consistently funny all the way through. Such as refreshing change of pace from all those other lame-ass predictable rom-coms I've had to endure for many years. It's, dare I say, A Perfect Date Movie.
Wow. Sounds like I might need to check it out then. I must admit, I did like Music and Lyrics so maybe this'll be pretty good too.
This looked like a movie that wouldn't be bad. See, it IS possible to make a good romantic comedy. Although I doubt it's as good as (500) Days of Summer
It looks a lot more honest and realistic than most romantic comedies of late.
Jack The Narrator updated his STATUS: 4 days ago
Seeing "2001: a space odyssey" on the big screen last night was like re-experiencing your first orgasm. It was a theatrical event unlike any other.
Jack The Narrator posted an IMAGE item: 5 days ago
madmaxx1122 at 02:43 AM Sep 04
Drew Barrymore & Ellen Page give eachother some sugar.
This picture is really hot! There is something about Drew Barrymore that sometimes she looks amazing...
Jack The Narrator created a LIST: 5 days ago
Ten (of many) Underrated Hotties
1. Marisol Nichols
2. Rebecca Hall
3. Judy Greer
4. Amy Ryan
5. Maggie Siff
6. Laurie Holden
7. Kerry Washington
8. Lynn Collins
9. KaDee Strickland
10. Jennifer Morrison
Based on a list by goNADSgo69
Jack The Narrator posted an IMAGE item: 5 days ago
Jack The Narrator at 09:34 AM Sep 03
Drew Barrymore
One of my biggest and longest (pun intended) celebrity crushes: Ms. Drew Barrymore.
Jack The Narrator updated his STATUS: 5 days ago
Tonight, I get to watch 2001: a space odyessy on the big screen for the first time at my local indie theater. Plus, if it's not too packed with assholes, I'll watch either MACHETE or GOING THE DISTANCE at the theater I work at after I clock out tonight. Jack is excited.
Jack The Narrator posted a MOVIE REVIEW item:
6 days ago
The American
| Directed by: | Anton Corbijn |
|---|---|
| Written by: | Rowan Joffe |
| Cast: | George Clooney, Paolo Bonacelli, Thekla Reuten, Violante Placido |
| Studio: | Focus Features |
| Genre: | Thriller |
| Official Site: | www.TheAmericanTheMovie.com |
Plot: Alone among assassins, Jack is a master craftsman. When a job in Sweden ends more harshly than expected for this American abroad, he vows to his contact Larry that his next assignment will be his last. Jack reports to the Italian countryside, where he holes up in a small town and relishes being away from death for a spell. The assignment, as specified by a Belgian woman, Mathilde, is in the offing as a weapon is constructed. Surprising himself, Jack seeks out the friendship of local priest Father Benedetto and pursues romance with local woman Clara. But by stepping out of the shadows, Jack may be tempting fate.
Review:
I don't know how many assassins exist in real life nor do I know if they look as attractive as George Clooney & Thekla Reuten. I also don't know if they kill anybody who might suspect their identity at the drop of a hat, reguardless of his/her relation to said victim (I sure as fuck hope not). But THE AMERICAN is a movie that makes it seem like this sort of ugly buisiness is common. Watching THE AMERICAN, It was like watching a bleak-themed remake of GROSS POINTE BLANK (except it's set in Italy instead of Michigan...[more]...
Lol, that was fantastic I agree. That movie is going to be 10x funnier the second time around too, I know it. It may not have been Talladega Nights, Anchorman, or Step Brothers quality. But damn was it still hilarious.