John Carter

Wow for a Disney film I was confused, really, I was honestly struggling to get my head around what was happening and all the odd names for various characters, places and creatures.

This hasn't done too well it seems, and I can see why really, the character of John Carter is very original and was actually created way back in the early 1900's. From what I can gather the film is actually pretty accurate to the characters story but there is one problem, this film has simply come out too late and merely resembles a mix of many other sci-fi films been and gone.

It was always gonna be hard to make this look really good and original and personally I think they kinda got it, kudos for trying but just falls short. Lets put all our cards on the table here, this film is basically 'Star Wars' with a bit of 'Stargate' and sprinkles of various 80's type fantasies. The whole film wouldn't look outta place stuck in the middle of 'Attack of the Clones', it just screams it from the first encounter with a four armed 'Thark' alien, the whole thing could just be another chapter in the Lucas universe.

I'm trying not to be too negative because the effects aren't all that bad, yep its stuffed full of cgi but I've seen worse and some of the creations are actually pretty cool, the huge white furry-ish beasties in the arena battle (Attack of the....I think you know) actually look pretty sweet methinks. The 'Tharks' are very obviously cgi but again look nice with some good imagination used, I liked all the beasts of burden throughout and that fat ball of blubber dog thing was kinda neat in a very 80's sidekick type of way. Bad side to effects would be the pretty dodgy looking blue/green screen usage from time to time and the way 'Carter' leaps around like a flippin rubber ball, I know he has agility due to the gravity or whatever but really? that high? that far? what is he a human sized flea!?

Visually the film is solid, even the film posters are quite nice, not much evidence that it actually takes place on Mars in my opinion but hey. Other problems take shape in the poor casting, West is a Sheffield lad and should stick to British TV drama's, Collins as the Princess is so very annoying all the way through and has waaaay too much makeup on and the hero 'Carter' (played by someone called Kitsch) is possibly the first action hero in a blockbuster that is kinda ugly and doesn't have excessive pretty muscles! actually that's kinda original.

I'm kinda split 50/50 with 'Carter', on one hand it is your very typical cgi filled piece of glossy trash that really is quite a scene for scene blatant rip off of the Star Wars prequels (AOTC), but on the other hand I like some of the imagination used and the design of certain creatures.

I also gotta give kudos for taking on an old, and in my opinion, difficult universe with a tricky plot that basically revolves around a man having an out of body, spiritual/astral projection 'experience' for no apparent reason...to Mars, which is teeming with life, apparently, and aiming it at younger folk.
Did it succeed? hmmm well no, problem being I think kids may get distracted by the wave of stupid names, choppy story and its actually a bit violent in places. Adults will have issues for probably all the reasons I have mentioned above, bottom line, its nothing new but I still kinda liked it in spots. Sequel? ended that way (who'd of thought it) and I'm OK to see it.