1. "Rango"- The single most extruciating film experience I have ever had the displeasure of sitting through. This is a trainwreck of the worst order. Awful animation, terrible characterizations, a dumb premise ("We animals need our own Vegas!"), and plot-holes bigger than the sun (humans exist in this world, which ruins the "happy enidng" entirely). I can't fathom how anyone unlucky enough to sit through this dreck enjoyed. WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!
2. "Bridesmaids"- I already have written 3500+ words as to why this is a piece of shit. To sum up, this film isn't funny, all the jokes last too long, the central relationship is one sided, the ending 'repair' is undeserved. In short, everything this movie was inexpiclably praised for, it gets 200% wrong.
3. "War Horse"- I'd like to introduce you to the best comedy of 2011! This movie was damn funny. The joke when Joey gallantly saves... wait, this isn't a comedy? Everything in this film was overwrought, cloying, and dumb. The humans were unrelatable. The movie drags on and on, as the 'war' section doesn't even happen until 50 some odd minutes in. Until then, we get lousy set-ups- that isn't Albert's horse already? The dad wants that horse because... because? Because there'd be no plot otherwise! Well that's a shitastic reason. The French girl subplot is cliche as hell.The girl is suffering from Fatal Movie Syndrome, oh no! Seriously, I hated this.
4. "Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows"- This movie blew chunks, which is why I was surprised to see the solid reviews and reaction to this fanfic-ed bit of dreck. There is no joy here, just a void of stupid.
5. "Moneyball"- Bland, bland, bland, dull, bland, bland, stupid. I just saved you 100+ minutes. Director Bennet Miller brings none of the energy he brought to "Capote", prefering to just point and shoot. Brad Pitt is uninspired and a dullard. Philip Seymour Hoffman is wasted as a coach with nothing to do. The single saving grace here is Jonah Hill, playing expertly against type. The ending is also a kick in the nuts, making me wonder why a movie even got made about something that failed!
6. "The Artist"- For a silent movie, one would think that the score would be very good and match the going-ons of the screen. You are forgiven for assuming such a silly thing, because this (mostly) silent, uber-popular film teaches us that isn't the case. The story is simple, which isn't a problem, but does fumble a bit, especially by giving certain things away far too early. The acting is pretty good. The B&W cinematography is stunning. The score isn't snyched up properly, making the act of walking through the door at a hosptial and talking to a nurse behind a desk the big emotional payoff. WTF?
7. "Transformers: Dark Of The Moon"- Yes, this is the best entry in this inspid series, but that does not make it a good movie. It's tediously long, dull, and has some of the worst fights in the franchise, which is no small feat. Since when was better, good enough?
8. "The Devil's Double"- Dominic Cooper gives undeniably brillant performances, but the movie never reaches the epic it was clearly aiming for. The political shenanigans aren't fully explored, and the plot twists are telegraphed from a mile away.
9. "Cowboys & Aliens"- '(Current) James Bond teams up with Indiana Jones to fight aliens in the old west! Brought to us by the guy who directed "Iron Man"! Fuck yes!' -Me, upon first hearing about this film. It was unfortunate then that this film had no energy, logic, or excitement. Huge disappointment!
10. "Killer Elite"- I really do apperciate that this movie wasn't just a shoot 'em up, loud, dumb flick. We get character development, a good deal of plot, and real weight for the action to be on. Too bad then that the characters are flat, and the plot goes nowhere. Statham and Owen are doing their best, and the movie sparks when they share a scene, but aside from a surprisngly good ending, there's very little to attach to.
11. "The Help"- Perfectly acceptable breeze of a film, with a good cast. Does that make it one of the best of the year? Hell no. Jumping through time with no frame of reference, and hitting a good many cliches, nothing stands out about this film.
12. "X-Men: First Class"- Fassbender is good. McAvoy is good. Bacon is creepy. Right there are the ony worthwhile things about this blunder. This easily has the worst editing of any film on this list (learn how to use split screen you fools!), and probably the worst special effects of any major studio release from 2011. Characterizations are all over the place, and January Jones (as Emma Frost) gives the worst performance of all last year. What made this soo good exacty?
13. "Super 8"- Abrams' love letter to Spielberg has some great things- all the child actors, Kyle Chandler, cinematography- but the story never congeals and leaves a lot to be desired. Also, the use of lens flare here is quite distracting, as it's not everywhere(a la his "Star Trek"), nor does it foreshadow anything.
14. "Hanna"- I like all of Joe Wirght's other films, especially the vastly underrated (and surprisingly dark) "The Soloist", so I was looking forward to this. What was I rewarded with? An amazing soundtrack, and good visuals, but nothing else. Hanna, as a character, is a terrible person that is impossible to root for. I can't say much without spoiling it, but she never greives nor uses her head. Why should we watch a movie about a complete bitch?
15. "Source Code"- Duncan Jones' highly anticapted sophomore effort is a solid try, but lasts 20 minutes too long and never fully engages the auidence.
16. "Warrior"- Maybe it's the anti-climax, or not giving a good reason for the brothers to be at blows, or that the winner of the fight is the wrong brother, but this left me cold. The fights are good, and Nick Nolte is great, but everything else is merely decent.
17. "Hugo"- This is easily the best film to be on this list, but it is quite flawed. Sacha Baron Cohen's Station Inspector seems to come from an entirely different movie (he gets hit in the balls by some luggage in the first two or so minutes). The special effects are unconvincing at times- the digitally rendered 1920s Paris looked fake. Finally, can we all stop pretending that because this comes from Martin Scorsese that it somehow makes it more personal? We get it, when he was a boy he was enchanted by these very same movies! Yay! So that's why Scorsese had to adapt his love letter to cinema from a book? This doesn't feel like a Scorsese, and as a director, whatever empathy he has with the material did not show up on screen.
Best poster of 2011!