I cannot fucking believe the judges just picked those dancing kids over Alice Tan Ridley on AMERICA'S GOT TALENT.
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Why do I have this gut feeling that if Abe was told that one day his people would portray him as a patriotic ax-wielding badass...he'd absolutely love the idea.

















They're probably under pressure to promote more non-singing acts, especially now that they're down to the Top 10. All the winners so far have been singers (yes, even Terry Fator).
The bigger travesty is that Kevin Skinner won last year. I'm still spewing venom over that.