Cochise posted a MOVIE REVIEW item: 4 months ago

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets


Directed by: Luc Besson
Written by: Luc Besson
Cast: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, John Goodman
Studio: EuropaCorp
Genre: Science-Fiction
Official Site: EuropaCorp


Wow, what a disappointment. I was incredibly excited for this. From all I read and saw from the previews it looked fantastic, unique and totally refreshing. And, honestly... it is. Kind of. There are a bunch of WAY out there concepts included in here that definitely feel cool and different and that was great to see. The visuals are fantastic as well and, despite the film's many faults, if you have any interest in seeing this movie you have to see it on a giant screen and in 3D. Honestly if it wasn't for that, I don't think I could even recommend it. Dane DeHaan is a great actor, and I'm a fan. However he is just not good here. Cringe worthy at times even. I just feel he's really miscast here, but at the same time the writing (and direction) has a lot to be blamed for in regard to the main character as well. I never really got a grasp on who the character was, aside from some awkward jerk. He's just not well written, and has a bunch of odd and just plain bad dialog. The same can be said for most of the dialog in the movie, sadly. Cara Delevingne is actually surprisingly good, and the best thing in the movie, and survives the bad dialog better than the rest of the cast. However, her chemistry with DeHaan isn't really there, which is a very bad thing seeing as the movie constantly tries to focus on their romantic relationship. Again though, the writing has a lot to do with that failing. Rihanna is pretty terrible here too (just as in Battleship) but, oddly, it's only really when she's doing the voiceover that she's cringeworthy (which is the majority of her dialog, however). The plot is also all over the place and at times nonsensical, and drawn out. While I don't want it to just try to be Guardians of the Galaxy or anything, I feel that the movie tried to include comedic elements but, for the most part, they were unsuccessful. There should've been more fat trimmed and more humourous elements added, and I think the film would've really benefitted even with the same messy plot. The film finale is a bit anticlimactic action wise as well, with the coolest sequences coming before it. All in all this was a giant, giant disappointment that leaves me sad, and with a sour taste in my mouth. Maybe it being such an epic letdown that's still fresh in my memory has something to do with it, but at the moment I think even a 5 is generous. But the art, special effects and related teams do deserve to be commended for their work here. Too bad no one else really can be. Damn.


Other reviews of this film: Moviefreak2010 (10/10) , OldKingClancy (5/10) > Display all
LelekPL at 12:22 PM Aug 12

I enjoyed the creativity of the film but I agree on the miscast. DeHaan is terribly miscast. Somebody bigger would have been more believable and even if they still wanted to go for that romantic hero angle, they'd still need a guy of Keanu Reeves' caliber who can pull off the romantic and teh action believably.

Cochise at 10:12 AM Aug 13

^ I feel like someone like Reeves would feel corny in the role too though. You need someone who can pull off the hero who's a bit of a funny prick thing, and that's hard to find. It's basically a less well written, more shallow, less admirable, less relatable, less likable Star Lord. Even still I think someone similar to Chris Pratt could've salvaged the poorly written character.

Back to Cochise's MOVIE REVIEWS